Our Dream 'Star Wars' Theme Park: Jedi School, Rent-a-Droid and an X-Wing Roller Coaster

Since Star Wars hit theaters 38 years ago, awestruck audiences have fantasized about entering that galaxy far, far away.

Soon, by visiting Disney’s theme parks, they’ll have that opportunity.

On an investor call earlier this week, Disney CEO Bob Iger said that the company had “ambitious” plans to integrate Star Wars properties into Disneyland, Disney World, and other resort locations, some of which already feature such rides as Star Tours and host fan-celebration weekends. Iger was thin on specifics, promising more information in the coming months, but did mention that the new theme park attractions would be based on the new movies in the franchise.

Because we’re very impatient and have vivid imaginations, we’ve dreamed up some awesome attractions that we’d love to see form the core of a whole new Star Wars-themed park expansion.

Mos Eisley Cantina Restaurant
Disney’s Tomorrowland already has Cosmic Ray’s, a space-themed restaurant with an alien crooner. So why not copy outer-space atmospherics and live-music acoustics, and use them to recreate Star Wars’ vicious hive of scum and villainy? It could feature the Cantina’s beloved house band, a Ponda Baba-B-Q grill, and an hourly Han-Greedo shoot-out.

Carbo-nite Club
You can’t waste a good pun, and every theme park needs some nighttime entertainment. Features include a photo booth where you can take a picture of yourself in carbonite. And for all you singles, the stream-shrouded dancefloor features some of the hottest ‘naughts in the galaxy!

Millennium Falcon Flight Simulator
Han Solo claims that he can steer the ol’ hunk of junk through the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs, and this would be your chance to match that. Or you could join the fight against Darth Vader and the Death Star (Nien Nunb not included).

Jedi Training School in Dagobah
Kids have a tendency to run around theme parks like little maniacs, but this school, run by a holographic Yoda, will teach them some self-discipline — and give parents some much-needed alone time. At the end, each padawan gets to build their very own lightsaber.

Jawa Trading Post
Save up your credits for this huge souvenir store, which will sell all the Star Wars memorabilia and merchandise you could ever want. George Lucas will literally sell you anything! A $2,000 bronze statue of Mon Mothma? Used Dengar bandages? They could be yours, for a low, low $900! (Note: Sand People over three feet high will not be admitted)

Rent-a-Droid
Who doesn’t want a robotic pal, especially when they’re as loyal as R2-D2 and C-3PO? For a premium price, visitors can rent their own robots, which follow and guide them around the park, help you unlock armored doors, and awkwardly beg you to remove their restraining bolts. They’ll also be witty chums who remember you the next time you come to visit, unless they’ve had their memories erased.

Chewie’s Candy Store
Get so overloaded on sugar, you’ll want to rip someone’s arms out of their sockets!

X-Wing Roller Coaster
An indoor coaster that would follow Luke’s tracks of the first Battle of Yavin, culminating with the Trench Run? Red Five, I’m going in.

A Human-sized Ewok Village
Sure, not everyone loved the furry little warriors from Endor, but you have to admit that it would be fun to hang out in their forest homes, chill in their sleeping logs, and sample the local goods. Bright Tree village was teeming with life, and it’d be a real delight, especially for kids, to climb around and live like an Ewok. And if they don’t like it, you can always stuff those ungrateful little brats into one of the Ewok costumes, send them into the woods, and see how they like living on their own for a spell!

Hoth Iceskating Rink
A perfect place to cool down on hot days, as well as get some exercise: Skaters will have to work around the AT-ATs that march around the rink. And when you’re done with your workout, you can indulge in a Hoth snow cone. Just make sure you don’t taun-taunt the skaters who aren’t as talented as you are!

Stormpooper
When you need to take a break, check out this elaborate bathroom, which lovingly recreates the interior of the Death Star, down to an excellent garbage compactor. But don’t worry — there are no torture droids to be found!

For other visions of a Star Wars Disney park, check out this old concept art made by a former Lucasfilm comic book artist a few years back.

Photo credits: Disney, Everett, Lucasfilm