Stop It, People, The Muppets Are Not Hosting the Oscars

The Projector

We love Twitter as much as anybody -- you should follow us! -- but the social networking site has a tendency to make its users believe they are somehow Making History or Starting A Movement when, really, they're just sort of chattering amongst themselves. Yesterday was a great example, with this #muppetoscars business.

In case you have something better to do -- like, we dunno, a job or something -- after Eddie Murphy begged out of Oscar hosting duties, a campaign began to have the Muppets host the Oscars. (There's even an @muppetoscars account now.) This became enough of a thing that Variety even felt compelled to report on it.

Now, we love the Muppets too, and we have no doubt that a show hosted by Kermit, Fozzie and the gang would be relentlessly entertaining. It's a great idea! Maybe in 2013, though? We hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but The Muppets are not in fact real people. They cannot ad lib. They cannot write their own material. They cannot build a whole special Oscars stage just so the puppeteers have something to hide behind during the opening monologue. (Oh, wait, did we burst a bubble there? The Muppets require people to make their mouths move, because they are puppets. Sorry.) The Oscars are scrambling right now to figure out how in the world they're going to throw a massive three-plus-hour show together in the next four months. It's a massive job, and they're already way behind. They might not be able to get this thing done in time with a host who can move his/her own mouth.

It's cute, it really is, this #muppetoscars business. But you're not really taking that seriously, are you? Tell us you're not.