So, there's a movie opening tomorrow that features the directorial debut of an Oscar-winning screenwriter, stars Colin Farrell and Keira Knightley, features wonderful supporting actors like Ray Winstone, David Thewlis and Eddie Marsan, and is a crime thriller about a gangster who falls in love with an international movie star. That sounds like a winner to us! We like all of those things! (Though honestly someone really needs to give Knightley a freaking sandwich.) Even the trailer looks good. The movie is called "London Boulevard," and we're sure it's gonna be a smash hit! Right? Right?
Nope: It's only showing in one theater, we haven't seen a single advertisement for it and it's currently languishing in the Available On iTunes wasteland, below some movie called "Retreat." What in the world is going on?
Well, turns out: It's terrible. The movie was released in the UK last Thanksgiving -- last Thanksgiving -- and it was just vivisected. The Rotten Tomatoes page is a wasteland, and the film was a total flop in England. It is not being released tomorrow; it is being dumped tomorrow. This year just hasn't turned out the way it was supposed to for Colin Farrell, at all.
"London Boulevard" [Rotten Tomatoes]