Oscars best and worst moments: Michelle Obama, Seth MacFarlane, Jennifer Lawrence’s stumble
It Started Off Well Enough …
"And the quest to make Tommy Lee Jones laugh begins," first-time Oscar host Seth MacFarlane said to open the 85th Oscar ceremony.
And Then …
Through a 16-minute long session that included sock puppets (for real), a tap-dancing Harry Potter, a song about actress' boobs, politically incorrect jokes about Chris Brown and Rihanna, Don Cheadle and Quentin Tarantino, a Captain Kirk-ed William Shatner (for real), an admittedly graceful dance by Charlize Theron and Channing Tatum, and what felt like a little infomercial for a MacFarlane album of standards, the newbie host had us wondering what kind of trippy scene we'd tuned in to.
[ Photos: Red carpet report card ]
Speaking of Trippy …
Those set pieces, those retro backdrops and a curtain that looked like it had been swiped from an NBC trash bin after Johnny Carson decided to replace it in 1979 … you set your TiVo to record the Oscars, and it finds an episode of "Laugh-In" instead.
Rob Lowe to Oscar Viewers: How You Like Me Now?
Twitter reaction to Seth MacFarlane's opening routine: We'd give anything to see that Rob Lowe/Snow White number again.
How Many 'Avengers' Stars Does It Take to Make An Oscar Presentation Unfunny?
Five. That wasn't a joke set-up. It took five stars of "The Avengers" -- Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Downey Jr., Mark Ruffalo, Jeremy Renner, and Chris Evans -- to present a pair of Oscars for Visual Effects and Cinematography, awkwardly, and while stepping on jokes mean to poke a little fun at each other. In fact, several A-listers seemed to be tripping over the bits penned for them, even the (almost) always funny Paul Rudd and Melissa McCarthy.
Duran Duran Wasn't Available?
Shirley Bassey sure belted out that "Goldfinger" theme song at the end of a rather lame tribute to 50 years of James Bond films. Belted it right out. Some might even say she yelled it out.
What Is Happening?!
Yes, we were warned, er, told, that music in the movies was the evening's theme, and a performance by the cast of current nominee "Les Miserables" made sense. But "Chicago"? "Dreamgirls"? Random.
This, We Can Get Behind
Out of place at the Oscars? Maybe, but far be it from us to ever turn down a good Kardashian joke. MacFarlane on "Argo" director Ben Affleck's facial fur: "The first time I saw him with all that dark facial hair, I thought, 'My God, the Kardashians have finally made the jump to film.'"
Wahlberg & the Stool
Admit it … when you saw Mark Wahlberg take the stage carrying that stool, you thought he was going to make a Clint Eastwood joke, right?
It's Better Than an Actual Hook
The Oscar orchestra played "Jaws" theme music to cut off "Life of Pi" Best Visual Effects winner Bill Westenhofer, who was unspooling an acceptance speech so lengthy a Best Picture winner wouldn't dare to take as much screen time. And before you feel too bad for him for getting the hook, remember, his wordiness prevented his fellow winners from getting a second at the mic. And this wasn't even his first Oscar win.
Adele = Perfection
Adele, as always, sounded terrific singing her Oscar-winning theme song from "Skyfall." Too bad she was often drowned out by the orchestra backing her.
"Twilight" star Kristen Stewart yet again stood in front of an audience of her peers and could barely look directly at the crowd while reading the nominees for Best Production Design. That shy routine is fine for less formal affairs like the MTV Movie Awards, we guess, but these are the Oscars, sister. If you can't at least make the effort not to stare at the floor half the time, just decline the invitation to be a presenter.