God of Blunder? Why Thor Chose the Wrong Woman in ‘The Dark World’
Jaimie Alexander, Sexiest. Warrior. Ever. (Photo Credit: Marvel/ Paramount)
Let's face it: Thor can get pretty much anything he wants.
He's got the strength of the Earth's military forces combined, the popular sex appeal of a Ryan Gosling-Tom Brady-Channing Tatum milkshake, a cool exotic accent (but come on, they also speak in vaguely British accents on Asgard? Where does it end?), a planetary throne as his birthright, and what's gotta be a massive trust fund. He's got a sweet hammer, hangs with an entourage that includes Iron Man and Captain America, and he can fly, too. Not to mention those golden locks.
Unlike Billy Crudup's Russell Hammond from "Almost Famous," Thor is literally a golden god. (It's all enough to get admirers over the fact that dude wears a red cape — and really, think about for a second — wearing a cape is kind of weird.)
Thor (as played by the strapping Chris Hemsworth in "Thor" and its new sequel, "Thor: The Dark World") is a virtuous, selfless type who uses these insane advantages over the rest of the universe's simpletons for nothing but good.
But as it becomes evident in "The Dark World," there's one place Thor gets it wrong: he's chasing the wrong woman.
Blasphemous? Maybe, but it needs to be said.
We watched passively as Thor meets-cute with astrophysicist Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) in the 2011 original, and their relationship throughout the film was somewhat restrained. But the attraction evolves to a whole new level in "The Dark World," as Jane is thrust into a central (and very typical) victim's role, and worse … Thor brings her home to meet the parents (Anthony Hopkins and Rene Russo).
Meanwhile, a centerfold-sexy Asgardian warrior and former childhood sweetheart of Thor's named Sif (Jaimie Alexander), who loyally follows him into any battle yet sits idly on the sidelines when it comes to his romantic affections, amps up her advances toward the Norse god in "TDW," and it's about time. At one point early on in the film, at a raging Asgardian after-party (to battle), Sif says to Thor something to the effect of, "Your nightly disappearances have not gone unnoticed." Translation: "You have an open invitation to my bedchamber." Thor refuses.
What in the The Dark World are you thinking, Thor?
Alexander's Sif is one of the fiercest, sexiest, sultriest women we've seen portrayed in a comic book or superhero movie yet. She's a minor character — she doesn't even get one of the five facial close-ups on the poster! — but she steals, no slaughters, every scene she appears in.
See, she follows him everywhere:
Sif following Thor everywhere in "The Dark World." (Photo Credit: Disney / Marvel)
Oh, and this is what she'd look like as arm candy at a hot Asgardian red carpet premiere, Thor: