Remember the running gag in "Old School" in which Vince Vaughn cues his kid to cover his ears whenever something adults-only was about to be said with the command "Earmuffs"? Now imagine Vince Vaughn doing that … to over 500 kids.
"Delivery Man" finds Vaughn as a chronic underachiever who gets smacked in the face with a big ol' existential crisis when he discovers that he's fathered 533 children via a series of anonymous donations to a fertility clinic over 20 years ago. It's a coming-of-age story featuring a fortysomething man coming to terms with responsibility and seizing the day as he finds ways to be a good dad to some of them … without actually revealing his identity.
In honor of Hollywood's most accomplished on-screen father, here's a look at the most active famous real-life babymakers in the business. (You'll notice almost all are male — there don't appear to be many well known actresses with six or more kids, it turns out.)
1. Mel Gibson
The Passion of Mad Mel has resulted in one daughter and six sons with ex-wife Robyn Denise Moore: Hannah (born 1980), Edward (born 1982), Christian (born 1982), William (born 1985), Louis (born 1988), Milo (born 1990), and Thomas (born 1999). Mel and Robyn split in 2009, the same year he had a daughter, Lucia, with Russian pianist Oksana Grigorieva. It's too bad that Mel and Oksana had split by 2010, if only because we'd love know if they would have followed the same pattern of having all boys after starting with a girl.
2. Eddie Murphy
Eddie Murphy's eventual transition from foul-mouthed comic to family-film leading man was reflected in his personal life as well, as he had five children with his longtime companion Nicole Mitchell: Bria L. Murphy (born 1989), Myles Mitchell (born 1992), Shayne Audra (born 1994), Zola Ivy (born 1999), and Bella Zahra (born 2002). Murphy also had a child with Tamara Hood, son Christian Murphy (born 1990); with Paulette McNeely, son Eric Murphy (born 1989) … and, after a DNA test provided confirmation, with former Spice Girl Melanie Brown, daughter Angel Iris Murphy Brown (born 2007).
3. Kevin Costner
The father of Superman (on Earth, anyway) is definitely a superdad offspring. He had three children with his first wife, Cindy Silva: Anne Clayton (born 1984), Lily McCall (born 1986), and Joseph (born 1988); a son with Bridget Rooney: Liam (born 1996); and three children with his second wife, Christine Baumgartner: Cayden Wyatt Costner (born 2007), Hayes Logan (born 2009), and Grace Avery (born 2010). It's unknown as to whether they've all agreed to play catch with him at least once.
Hollywood's most formidable super couple are as known for their formidable family as they are for their film careers, charity work, and various philanthropic pursuits. They have three adopted children: Maddox (born 2001), Pax (born 2003), and Zahara (born 2005); and three biological children: Shiloh (born 2006) and twins Knox and Vivienne (born 2008). They plan on naming their next kid either Bob or Jane.
5. Steven Spielberg
Hollywood's most profitable film director dealt with his own daddy issues (seriously, have you seen "E.T."?) by becoming a terrific — or at least prolific — father himself. Spielberg and his first wife, "Carrie" star Amy Irving, had one son, Max (born 1985); and he and his second wife, "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" beauty Kate Capshaw, had three children: Sasha (born 1990), Sawyer (born 1992), and Destry (born 1996).
Spielberg and Capshaw also adopted a daughter, Mikaela (born 1996); prior to their marriage, Capshaw adopted a son, Theo (born 1988), whom Spielberg later adopted as well. Is this family situation an epic adventure waiting to be written or what?
6. Robert De Niro
It's only appropriate that "The Godfather" himself would have something of an impressive family. Robert De Niro and his first wife, Diahnne Abbott, have a son, Raphael, and De Niro also adopted Drena, Abbott's daughter from a previous relationship; later, he and his long-term partner Toukie Smith had twin sons, Julian and Aaron (born 1995), who were conceived by in vitro fertilization and delivered by surrogate mother.
De Niro and his second wife, Grace Hightower, had a son, Elliot (born 1998). While they split in 1999, their divorce was never finalized and they renewed their vows in 2004, which led to a daughter, Helen, born in 2011 via surrogate.
7. Zack Snyder
He makes blockbuster movies like "Man of Steel" and "Watchmen," and yet Zack Snyder still has time for family — a large-scale family, at that. Snyder has six children: the four eldest from his first marriage to Denise Weber and the two youngest from his relationship with Kirsten Elin, who was his line producer on commercials. Snyder and his second wife (and producer), Deborah Snyder, have been married since 2004 and so far have only had cinematic children together — big, loud, temperamental ones.
8. Dustin Hoffman
Dustin Hoffman has a half-dozen "Little Fockers" running around, the first of which he had with his first wife, Anne Byrne: daughter Jenna (born 1970); Hoffman also adopted Karina (born 1966), Byrne's daughter from a previous marriage, before they divorced in 1980. Hoffman later had four children with his second wife, Lisa Gottsegen: Jacob (born 1981), Rebecca (born 1983), Maxwell (born 1984), and Alexandra (born 1987). We imagine they're all highly amused by "Hook" and Dad's occasional "Rain Man" impersonations.
9. Kirk Cameron
Kirk Cameron and his wife, Chelsea Noble, have passed their "Growing Pains" on to six children, the four eldest of which are adopted: Jack (born 1996), Isabella (born 1997), Anna (born 1998), Luke (born 2000), Olivia (2001), and James (2003). So far there have been no reports of Jack, Luke or James switching bodies with their dad.
10. Bonus Classic Entry: Charlie Chaplin
What can we say? He wasn't called 'The Tramp' for nothin'.