Why do people treat weekend box office as if it were an actual
horse race, as if it somehow matters to us, the consumer, which faceless
corporation makes another stray million more over a three-day span than
another faceless corporation? We have no idea! But it's still fun.
Welcome to this week's Box Office Predictor. Prepare thyself for random guessing about dollar figures so large that they become meaningless!
1. "X-Men: First Class"
(3,641 screens) The reviews have been baffling rapturous, but from the outside, this one feels more fanboy than crossover. It didn't help that the "Wolverine" movie was so bad, and the franchise feels a little stalled, with Marvel's attention elsewhere. It wouldn't surprise us to see this falter, and it's even more of a surprise that there are no new films to challenge it this weekend. Guesstimate: $57 million.
2. "The Hangover Part II." (3,615
screens) The only backlash we've seen to this film has been from critics and people we hang out with. The people we hang out with think they're so much smarter than they really are. Guesstimate: $38 million.
3. "Kung Fu Panda 2."
(3,952 screens) No other kids movies, and we bet it holds up better than "Hangover" does. But we think we're smarter than we really are too. Guesstimate: $28 million.
4. "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides."
(3,966 screens) It's kind of hilarious that Tim Burton is being considered for the next "Pirates" film. That would turn matters in a different direction. Guesstimate: $20 million.
(2,916 screens) Still in the top five, ladies. Nice work. Now get out there and defend Megan Fox already. Guesstimate: $9 million.