When a trailer starts with Charlie Sheen — excuse us, Carlos Estevez — in bed with three women, and he's also the president of the United States, you know the movie is not aiming for subtlety. But the new look at Robert Rodriguez's "Machete Kills" is even more insane than anyone could've possibly predicted.
The movie stars Danny Trejo, the 69-year-old (yes, seriously) boxer-turned-convict-turned-actor, as Machete Cortez, a betrayed former Federales who dispenses justice one slice at a time. The first movie, 2010's "Machete," was based on the fake trailer Rodriguez included in "Grindhouse," his ill-fated double-feature with Quentin Tarantino. That flick featured a ridiculous plot, excessive violence, and plenty of stunt casting including Robert De Niro, Steven Seagal, and Lindsay Lohan. This new trailer, though, takes it to the next level, complete with appearances by Mel Gibson (as a cape-wearing terrorist), Lady Gaga (as Cuba Gooding Jr.), and Sofia Vergara (as, well, you'll see).
Here are our favorite moments from the trailer.
Casting Charlie Sheen as the leader of the free world isn't quite ridiculous enough, so the trailer features him shared a bed with not one, not two, but three lingerie-clad ladies.
There's an App for That:
Most every character Trejo has played for Rodriguez has been named after a bladed weapon -- Machete, Razor, Navajas (a Spanish knife) — so, of course, even his iPhone needs to be a switchblade.
High Voltage Action:
While a lot of the action in the trailer is completely over-the-top, this scene shows that Trejo is still completely grounded.
Sofia Vergara plays Desdemona, a villainess who brandishes a pair of deadly weapons. Also, she wears a machine gun bra.
From Cuba to Gaga:
Lady Gaga makes her movie debut as La Chameleon, who can convincingly disguise herself to look exactly like Cuba Gooding Jr. (maybe it was really her in "Snow Dogs" the whole time).
Mel Gibson – Caped Crusader:
To play a madman bent of world domination, Gibson has to look the part. And that apparently includes wearing a shiny blue suit with a white cape.
Machete is so dangerous he can turn anything into a lethal weapon (which he'll need to defeat the guy from "Lethal Weapon"). And that includes flipping a speedboat to take out a pack of henchmen.
"Machete Kills" slices into theaters on October 11.