14 Movie Moments From 2013 We Can’t Unsee
As we continue to reflect on the pleasant surprises and terrific performances in movies that came out this past year, we can't help but also highlight the most cringe-worthy cinematic moments. You know, those things we wish we'd never seen at all.
From a surprise (in a bad way) shot of senior genitalia to oh-too-gory dismemberment, here are 14 movies scenes from the past year that we wish had been left on the cutting room floor. Be warned: There are SPOILERS below!
1. "Bad Grandpa": Naked Grandpa
We expect to be disturbed at some point during a "Jackass" movie; however, we really wish Johnny Knoxville and Co. left us wondering whether ol' grandpa was anatomically correct. Mystery is everything!
2. "Evil Dead": Tongue Tied
Horror movies treat death with very adult gloves, i.e. the more blood and gore, the better. Case in point, the 2013 remake of "Evil Dead," which had a very disturbing cutting-out/off-tongue sequence with an electric knife, still makes us shudder.
3. "Spring Breakers": Sexualizing a... Gun!?
Filled with taboo moments, one scene took it that much further when Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Benson, who play menacing co-eds-turned-criminals, taunt their "mentor" Alien (James Franco) by putting a gun in his face. He then proceeds to put his mouth around the barrel and... you get the drift.
4. "The Canyons": Sex With Strangers
This low budget R-rated drama was supposed to be Lindsay Lohan's comeback (again?). The most distressing of the film's many awkward scenes was one in which Lohan's character willingly participates in group sex with some random people her boyfriend (James Deen) invites over to their house. Yuck.
5. "Kick-Ass 2": CGI-Enhanced Excrement
It's one thing when a "South Park" player suffers from explosive diarrhea, because, well, it's animated and funny. It's quite another when it's in a live action movie and enhanced with CGI.
6. "Pain & Gain": Just Say No!
We could have picked on several scenes in this film, inspired by the misguided lives of some bodybuilders-turned-kidnappers-turned-murderers. After watching appendages bar-b-qued and heads run over by cars, we're still the most disturbed by watching Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson do cocaine. It doesn't even matter that it's not real: It's The Rock — our beloved, lovable pro-wrestler turned action hero. We don't ever want to see him that way!
7. "The Wolf of Wall Street": Public Self-Pleasure
Speaking of actors doing drugs in movies, the characters in "The Wolf of Wall Street" basically did ALL of the drugs that were ever on the planet earth (particularly Jordan, played by Leonardo DiCaprio, and Donnie, played by Jonah Hill). While we have the utmost respect for director Martin Scorsese's artistic vision, no one wanted or needed to see Donnie's Quaalude-induced public masturbation. And we most certainly didn't need to see his you-know-what!
8. "Grown Ups 2": Moose Pee
While one could argue that no one needed to see "Grown Ups 2," at all, we certainly did not need to see a moose urinate on Adam Sandler's face!
9. "One Direction: This is Us": Underage-ish Shirtlessness
Disclaimer: There is nothing gross about the young men of One Direction. We have danced to their music, been totally charmed by their unique interview style and enjoyed watching their antics in "This is Us." The reason the film is on this list is because we just felt wrong about seeing these young lads so shirtless... and tattooed.