'About Alex' Star Aubrey Plaza Tells Us How She Really Feels About Chris Pratt, Donald Glover, Amy Poehler, and More

It’s often hard to tell when Aubrey Plaza’s Parks and Recreation character April Ludgate is being sincere or sarcastic. The same goes for Plaza herself. As she recently told the New York Times, “I don’t even know when I’m being serious or not.”

Her deadpan delivery is one of the reasons the TV breakout is lining up one movie gig after the next. Last week, she costarred opposite Max Greenfield (New Girl) in the ensemble About Alex, a Big Chill-inspired dramedy that follows a group of college friends who gather after one of them attempts suicide. And this week, she has the zombie-rom-com Life After Beth, in which she plays the reanimated girlfriend of the very freaked out Dane DeHaan.

With all of these projects breeding all of these cool co-stars, we asked the improv pro to spill the dirt on a handful of them. It’s pretty obvious when she’s being serious and when she’s kidding. We think.

Chris Pratt (who plays her on-screen husband on NBC’s Parks and Recreation)
I just want him all to myself, and now I feel like the whole world is let in on the secret brilliance of Chris Pratt…. He’s a talented rap artist, like to a scale that people don’t know about. He can do anything and everything. He’s like a real live superhero. I’m like his wife: I support him. I dress him. I make sure there’s nothing in his teeth.

Max Greenfield (who plays her frenemy Josh in About Alex)
Max Greenfield is a f—-ing nightmare to work with, and I’m appalled by his on-set behavior, and his off-set antics. When I met him I said, “You know what Max, I’ve never seen your goddamn television show, so I don’t want to hear about it.”

Amy Poehler (who plays Leslie Knope on Parks and Recreation)
She is the queen goddess of the universe. She has mystical powers, sexual powers, and she’s always the funniest person in the room. Sometimes I feel like her mother and sometimes I feel like I birthed her and sometimes I feel like she birthed me. And sometimes I want to make out with her.

Jake Johnson (who plays a reporter her intern shadows in Safety Not Guaranteed)
He angers me on a deep, deep, deep level. But I think that’s why I love him so much, too. Have I slapped him? I think I have slapped him. I have actually pulled a gun out on him once. An air rifle pellet gun. I put it right in his face. This was not on set. This was in the confines of my own home. And he said, ‘No one’s ever pulled a gun on me like this before.’ And I said, ‘Well, get used to it, buddy.’

Aziz Ansari (who plays Tom on Parks and Recreation)
He watches out for me, he tells me where to eat food, and he just generally teaches me how to be cool. So I’ve gotta keep that guy around.

Rachel Bilson (who plays her sister The Do List)
She’s surprisingly, really sarcastic and really funny and really weird. She has her own line of plates. I don’t know how you have time to have your own line of plates.

Johnny Depp (who plays the title role in her upcoming film Mortdecai)
Johnny Depp is a magical, slippery beautiful enigma. And I loved working with him, and I’m in awe of him, and I want to be him.

Nick Offerman (aka Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation)
Nick Offerman is Satan’s lover. He’s a dark force of nature. He’s a combination between an evil lumberjack and a giggling wood nymph.

Dane DeHaan (who plays her boyfriend Life After Beth)
I respect him. I loved working with him. I love watching him. I can’t say anything bad about him.

Donald Glover (whom she co-starred with in both Mystery Team and The To Do List)
Donald Glover has the smallest penis I’ve ever seen.

Photos: Screen Media (2), NBC (4), CBS (2), FilmDistrict, Lionsgate, A24