Yes, Rudy Giuliani Was Raided by the Feds, But What About HUNTER BIDEN?

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Jack Holmes
·5 min read
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Photo credit: YouTube
Photo credit: YouTube

Shortly after characterizing the Immigration Act of 1965—which abolished an explicit preference for Northern and Western Europeans in American immigration law—as a vile attack on our democracy on Thursday night, Tucker Carlson played host to one Rudolph W. Giuliani. The Artist Formerly Known as America's Mayor had his house raided by the FBI at the crack of dawn Thursday, as the feds sought electronic devices in relation to an investigation into whether Giuliani broke federal lobbying laws while mucking around in Ukraine in 2019. At issue, the New York Times reports, is whether the Rude Boi went all out to secure the firing of the American ambassador to Ukraine, Marie Yovanovitch, as part of his work for Donald Trump, American president, or whether he also secured this outcome on behalf of various Ukrainian operators who saw Yovanovitch as a problem. Either way, there is no evidence Yovanovitch was up to anything untoward alongside her mission to clean up corruption in the country. She was fired without cause. Giuliani has previously said he "needed Yovanovitch out of the way."

Anyway, Carlson hosted Giuliani and played his part as co-spinner. Somehow, a discussion of the federal action against Giuliani became a discussion about the various misadventures of Hunter Biden, who certainly has suffered with substance-abuse issues and should not have held a seat on the board of a Ukrainian energy company while his father was Vice President of the United States. This is exactly the kind of government-adjacent family grift the Trump clan came to specialize in, which made it all the more galling to hear about it from Junior and Co., but the basic point stands. Still, there's never been convincing evidence of wrongdoing on Joe Biden's part. And still, it would have been nice to hear something about Giuliani's case that wasn't "Hunter Biden" or an allusion to the idea we are now living in East Germany and he's being hunted by the Stasi. No such luck, not with a hack of Tucker Carlson's prodigious capabilities in the mix.

"They're the ones who are committing—it's, like, projection," Giuliani said, tearing a hole in the matrix. I'm not projecting, they're projecting. And this is definitely not me projecting on them that they are projecting on me. Giuliani also explained that he could not possibly have represented any foreign nationals because he writes it into his contracts that he won't represent foreign nationals. Case closed! It says right there on the paper. "And they also got it from the iCloud!"

You need a decoder ring to decipher some of the layers here, many of which seem to hinge on "Rudy Giuliani says so on Fox News while in what appears to be serious legal jeopardy." But the more straightforward approach is to just track how many times these American patriots work "Hunter Biden" into the discussion. Giuliani got a reference in with virtually the first line of his first response, and the initiative was so relentless that at one point, he addressed his interviewer as "Hunter."

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This is a neat distillation of the home-stretch election strategy—namely, screaming various incantations from the right-wing infotainment vortex, hoping to hit home with just enough voters in the handful of states that matter in our boneheaded system for electing presidents that the incumbent could win re-election despite getting millions fewer votes from actual American citizens. Like with Carlson's reference to the Immigration Act, the hope is a trigger word—"immigration"—combined with some spinned-up packaging—"they made Joe Biden president 55 years later!"—will be enough to secure the audience's support and/or caustic opposition.

There emerges more evidence by the week that these people were simply capable of anything within this larger pursuit leading up to the election. Again, Hunter Biden should not have been taking paychecks from Ukrainian energy bigwigs while his father was the veep, but there's also no evidence of malfeasance on Joe Biden's part. A Republican Senate committee quietly admitted this last year. Often, these shit-slingers do not even bother making the case that Biden the Elder did something wrong. Their case that he pushed for a prosecutor's firing to bail out his son completely collapsed, in part because a number of U.S. allies also wanted the prosecutor out because he wasn't pursuing corruption cases, and also because the prosecutor, Viktor Shokin, was not investigating Hunter Biden's conduct.

It was, in short, complete bullshit. Which might explain why both Rudy and Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson got "defensive briefings" from the FBI in which they were told they were gearing up to serve as stooges in a Russian disinformation campaign. "Disinformation" is a fancy spy word meaning "a crock of shit serving a hostile foreign power's agenda, which you are pushing because it happens to also serve the agenda of your ally, Donald Trump's, agenda, which always comes before the interests of the United States." Or maybe this is all a liberal conspiracy, and it's Rudy Giuliani who's telling the truth.

Photo credit: Esquire
Photo credit: Esquire

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