Need New Year’s Eve Instagram Captions? We Asked the Funniest, Coolest Women for Help

Instagram captions—the place where the hot and funny are separated from the simply hot. The words that accompany an Instagram post are a modern haiku, wherein you may come across a person's bone-deep truth spelled out and offered up, or just a pitch to join a multilevel marketing scheme.

Searches for “how to write an Instagram caption” spike around the new year, as so many of us seek to control the narrative of our lives while feverishly applying glitter to our faces and liquor to our glasses. This year's New Year's Eve Instagram captions, while not exactly our greatest problem as a society, do represent a bigger, weirder question: How do we measure a year that brought immense suffering, and also included the beauty and joy of existence?

Writing an Instagram caption is always hard. Adorning a picture of yourself with words is so many different kinds of asking for attention. And yet we feel compelled to do it, or accept the more-painful truth that we are simply asking to be looked at.

We asked some of our favorite funny, interesting women how they might consider ringing in the new year in their Instagram captions. And even though that's kind of an insane question, they responded with all of the reflective, laugh-out-loud, and sincere #content we could ever dream of. We're wishing them, and you, and all of your followers a gorgeous, safe, meaningful new year. May 2021 be the year you feel most fully and profoundly yourself…or at the very least, the year you write your best-ever Instagram caption.

London Hughes

Hughes’s hysterical stand-up special, To Catch a Dick, will hit Netflix on December 22.

“I’m ending 2020 by being reflective. It was the year where I became unintentionally celibate, I struck up a lifelong bond with my houseplant, and discovered that you can be attracted to someone without even seeing the bottom of their face. What a year. Here’s to more health, wealth and open-mouth-kissing strangers at parties in 2021!”

Karen Chee

Chee is a staff writer and performer on Late Night With Seth Meyers and a writer on the upcoming Amazon comedy special, Yearly Departed. She wants you to know that December 31, 2020, is a Friday.

“tgif”

Angela Barnes

Barnes is the brains behind “Get Your Booty to the Poll,” the viral nonpartisan voting PSA in which dancers and strippers urged Georgia voters to make their voices heard in the election.

“In January I was newly divorced and still trying to figure out whether I would be able to balance being a good mother with being a working director. If 2020 taught me anything, it's that I can be both. It was wanting a better world for my boys that led me to make ‘Get Your Booty to the Poll,’ which ended up going viral and has been one of the most talked-about political ads in recent years.

“I am proud that our campaign is part of the reason why Georgia had record voter turnout. I am proud that our campaign started conversations about respectability politics and sex work. I'm proud that my boys got to see how we can use our voices to fight for what we believe in. I'm also proud that they got to see how much of a badass their mother is. The Georgia senate runoff is January 5. Get your booty to the poll Georgia!! #2020 #vote #democracy #GetYourBootyToThePoll #accidentalactivist #hope.”

Rachel Slawson

Slawson is this year's Miss Utah and the first openly LGBTQ, bipolar Miss USA contestant.

“Who really wore the pants in 2020?”

Amanda Litman

Litman is the cofounder and executive director of Run for Something, an organization that represented 525 progressive candidates seeking office in 2020.

“This year was, for obvious reasons, 98% terrible. (As the TikTok song goes, ‘lowkey, fuck 2020.’)

“But ever the (nauseous and cautious) optimist, I have to say:

“The 2% that was good was really genuinely good. The biggie: We beat Trump. And also: 20,000+ additional young people reached out to my organization, Run for Something, to say they want to run for office—in no small part inspired by the massive Black Lives Matter uprisings of the summer. Those new folks bring our grand total to more than 65,000 people who raised their hands to run since 2017. RFS has officially elected nearly 500 people—mostly women and BIPOC leaders, and 20% LGBTQ folks—to local offices across 45 states.

“(And personally, after being together 24/7 for nearly 300 days in a one-bedroom apartment, I'm exceedingly confident in my decision to marry the best man I've ever known. Plus, now I can make a kick-ass loaf of gluten-free sourdough.)

“The first few months of 2021 will likely just feel like the 2020 extended edition, but wow oh wow I can't wait for next year's good vibes (and vaccines) to eventually kick in—I'm going to hug my friends, see all the movies, sing karaoke loudly, marry my love with all our loved ones there, and most importantly, keep working with the incredible RFS team to help people run for office, win, and change the world.”

Bolu Babalola

Babalola is one of the funniest people you can follow on Twitter, and the author of the fabulously reviewed debut story collection Love in Color, out in the U.S. on April 13, 2021.

“To the strength of persistent hope, and another year of pose & prose.”

Candace Parker

Parker, a star player for the Los Angeles Sparks, is a two-time WNBA MVP and two-time Olympic gold medalist.

“My generation was worried we wouldn't have the same ‘We walked three miles uphill both ways to and from school’ stories our parents had. Well, 2020 solved that worry that we wouldn't have struggle and perseverance stories to tell our grandkids. In all seriousness, 2020 has been filled with challenges, tough conversations, and struggles, but it has revealed that the foundation of humankind rests in love, community, and resilience. 2021, we are ready for you!”

Logan Ury

Ury is a behavioral economist and Hinge’s director of relationship science. Her book, How to Not Die Alone, comes out on February 2, 2021.

“2020 was, without a doubt, a tough year for all of us.

“But it also proved, once and for all, that love doesn’t wait. At Hinge we saw almost immediately that daters refused to take this year off. Starting in March, we saw an increase in app downloads, conversations, and dates compared to last year. Many people tried virtual dates for the first time, and thankfully found it way less awkward than they expected 😉

“This year also forced me to be creative in my own love life. My fiancé and I scrapped our plans for a four-day wedding retreat in the Adirondacks, and instead got married with seven days’ notice in Golden Gate Park.

“Hinge users tell us that the pandemic has helped them feel ready for a long-term relationship. And in 2021 I’m excited to see what opens up for daters around the world. Goodbye 2020! Here’s to a new year, full of new connections and new love stories.”

Jessica Rothe

Rothe stars in the romantic tearjerker All My Life with Harry Shum Jr., in some theaters now and on demand December 23.

“Guys and gals! Here we are!! 🥂💃 ✨🎉To start, a massive shout-out to the true heroes of 2020, our amazing essential workers who have so tirelessly devoted each and every day to keeping us safe and healthy. Thank you for your courage, strength, and bravery.

“If this year has taught me anything, it’s that we should cherish the road dogs in our lives (mine are pictured here…a human and an actual 🐶 ) and to remember how much we rely on each other, even in a virtual world, for love, support, the occasional air hug, and to feel just fine existing for months in the same pair of sweats with tangled hair and zit cream. It also doesn’t hurt to have ‘roadies’ who don’t make you feel bad for being one of the few people that didn’t master baking a banana bread or a loaf of sourdough. 😁Here’s to toasting a new year where we witness long overdue shift in our country that is devoted to creating positive change toward equality and justice, where we commit to living and loving to the fullest extent and where that ‘Hey, shhh..I’m on a Zoom’ is replaced with ‘Babe, I’ll see you later! I have a meeting at Netflix.’ 😉

“✌️ out 2020! Coming for ya 2021! ️

“#roaddogsforlife”

Ayo Edebiri

Edebiri wrote on and stars in the most recent season of Big Mouth, and the upcoming season of Dickinson.

“Nothing witty or intelligent to see here. Off to take a nap ♥️”

Jenny Singer is a staff writer for Glamour. You can follow her on Twitter.

Originally Appeared on Glamour