WTF Is Happening in Johnny Depp’s Dior Ad?

Lauren Tuck
·News Editor

Dior was able to book the big kahuna and bag Johnny Depp as the face of its new fragrance, Dior Sauvage. The scent is a “radically fresh composition, with a powerful name that speaks for itself.” But the commercial, on the other hand, does not. Seriously, WTF is going on? Let’s try to decipher. 

We first start out in a city, where the Pirates of the Caribbean star is rocking out on his electric guitar, probably actually playing because the 52-year-old is an accomplished musician in addition to his silver screen success. Then, maybe he hits a wrong note or realizes no one’s listening so he throws his instrument makes a quick exit. “I gotta get outta here,” he says to no one in particular.

In a record amount of time, Depp travels from an urban landscape to a mining town, and eventually the dessert in a classic black car (maybe a Mustang, I don’t know I’m a girl who lives in New York City and I take taxis, Ubers, and subways everywhere). “Which way, I don’t know,” he whispers in his brusk voice, probably to the buffalo that’s just casually strolling along the side of the highway. Do buffaloes understand English accents? The beasts have a staring contest, Depp gazing through tinted blue sunglasses, and the animal ignores the challenge. Maybe it’s not intimidated by celebrities. 

Next, for absolutely no reason because there aren’t any other cars in sight, Depp spins-out and starts off-roading. After dramatically coming to a stop, he parks, exits the vehicle, scaring an innocent bird in the process, and takes a shovel out out of the trunk while pondering the existential question: “What am I looking for?” As soon as he turns his back, a wolf jumps on the roof of his car, which Depp should really shoo away because talons can scratch the paint job, but doesn’t. Unperturbed by the canine, he digs a hole, then removes his hippie necklaces and drops them into the ditch — but not before admiring the craftsmanship of the beads and saying a little prayer. He answers his own question — “something I can’t see” — and proceeds to swipe off his rings and buries them as well (he keeps the turquoise bracelets). 

Clouds suddenly come rolling in and Depp “can feel it. It’s magic.” The man jewelry sacrifice to the weather gods has worked! Is man jewelry and voodoo the key to solving the world’s drought crisis? Maybe. Thank you, Johnny! The video ends before the rain falls and his guyliner has the potential to run.  

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