Woman wants her baby shower gift back after her friend suffers a miscarriage in Reddit post

One woman’s post in the “AITA” subreddit is a real doozy. After her friend Jen suffered a miscarriage, the woman wants to know if she’d be in the wrong for requesting her baby shower gift back.

While she did acknowledge that it sounds “awful” and even called it a “terrible thing to do,” she still can’t help but want her gift back. She and her husband—who is closest to the grieving mom in question—think that because they spent $400 on the gift, they should get it back since it would “go to waste and likely never be used.”

Yes, really.

The friend, Jen, sent her baby shower information out to friends and family while she was still in her first trimester—which the OP judged her for.

“A few weeks later Jen had a traumatic miscarriage. I won’t get into the details but she was devastated and the cause of the loss likely means she won’t be able to carry future pregnancies to term. It’s incredibly sad and while I’m not close with Jen my heart hurt for her,” the post reads.

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The OP admits that “asking her to return the gift seems cruel, like adding a chore onto her grief” and also said asking Jen to give her and her husband the money for it “also seems very cruel.” But because they feel Jen won’t be using it and it’ll just be “sitting there” unused in their home, it’s a “waste.”

“So, would we be TA if we asked about getting the gift back? Ideally we could get our money back somehow although it’s probably too late. If we can’t then I’d at least like to gift it to someone else who can use it (I feel awful just saying that but it’s how I feel). However this is such a sensitive subject and we don’t want to pressure her if she’s not ready to discuss it.”

Related: This Reddit post about a mom wanting a solo vacation is BONKERS

The OP also noted that she and her husband are high earners, though the $400 price tag is still costly. Personally, aside from the callousness of the request, my questions are: 1. How does she know Jen didn’t already return it and keep the money or store credit? and 2. Who forced her and her husband to spend that amount of money if it was going to be an issue?

Redditors seem to be on the same page.

Bottom line: If you give a gift, it’s theirs. Period. And even thinking of requesting a gift back after someone suffers a traumatic loss? Eek. Just…no.