Woman dumbfounded by boyfriend’s insistence on having her family call him ‘doctor’: ‘I smell a narcissist’

A woman is perplexed but her boyfriend’s requirement that her friends and family call him “doctor.”

Her boyfriend is a doctor. The issue is that he expects everyone she knows to refer to him by his professional title instead of his first name. He’s even gotten hostile about it, so she took to Reddit’s “Am I the A******? (AITA)” forum for advice.

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“My boyfriend (32/male) is a doctor,” he explained. “When I introduced him to my family and friends, I told them his full name, then [his] occupation, then mentioned the other stuff like age and hometown, etc. All good — until months later [when] he started complaining about my family and friends referring to him by his ‘first name’ and not putting ‘Dr.’ before. I found this strange. I told him that’s his professional title, but as a society, we use first names/nicknames, etc. He said he can’t help [but] feel annoyed, especially considering that ‘these people’ don’t know him well. But it’s been eight months. He said once we’re married or engaged, then they can start referring to him using his first name.

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“Recently, he started correcting whenever my friends or family call him by his name. His tone becomes aggressive, and then he goes on a long lecture about how they should put ‘Dr.’ before mentioning his name. It became exhausting because my friends and family can’t understand his strange hang-up, and he keeps picking fights with them about it. Last night, we were visiting my parents, and my dad called him [‘Justin’] instead of [‘Dr. Justin’]. My boyfriend started arguing with him, which caused a huge fight in the house, and we ended up leaving.

“In the car, he went off on me, saying I’m letting family and friends disrespect him continually by letting them call him with just his name,” she wrote. “I told him he was at fault here and [that] he was being unreasonable because what he’s expecting is bizarre. He said he takes pride in his profession and that he sacrificed so much to get where he is today and [that] my family and friends literally lose nothing if they respect his wishes.

“He called me an enabler and said that siding with them paints me in a bad light and advised me to step up and take a stand, but again, I thought he was overreacting and being hostile for no reason. We got home, and he shut me down and refused to speak to me. Mom called me later, and we talked a bit. Today, he’s gone completely [radio-silent], but the look on his face is telling.”

Redditors thought the boyfriend’s request was absurd.

“I smell a narcissist,” a user commented.

“This is telling you exactly who he is, and it’s not a pretty picture,” another wrote.

“You use people’s professional titles at work,” a user replied.

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