Wedding Guest Shamed by Family Members for Recycling Her Outfit

Women posing with bride
A woman’s family told her it was “disrespectful” to wear the same outfit to multiple weddings. (Photo: Getty Images)

People feel strongly about what guests should and shouldn’t wear to weddings. We’ve seen those debates rage, even when just discussing theoretical rules. Among those guidelines, was anyone aware of a ban on recycling a fancy outfit from one wedding to another? One wedding guest in the U.K. recently found out her family thinks there should be one.

“Since Christmas, I’ve been to four weddings,” wrote Mumsnet user GameOldBirdz on Tuesday. We’ve all had those years, when everyone in our circle of friends seems to be getting hitched and the concept of “wedding season” seems to encompass a good 20 months. This guest dared to wear the same outfit to three of those weddings and received an unpleasant surprise afterward.

“My cousin, who was at both family same-outfit weddings, sent me a load of photographs yesterday and said in the email, ‘It’s a shame you couldn’t be bothered to wear something different,'” GameOldBirdz wrote the joking reply, “I’m sorry if I offended you [by] recycling my outfit, I’m cheap.”

Instead of laughing it off, the cousin “sent a massive paragraph saying I was disrespectful, that it was very bad show, it was rude and that if I didn’t want to go I should have declined the invitation rather than turn up inappropriately dressed (her words).”

When GameOldBirdz turned to her mother for support in the matter, she too said that recycling her outfit was “inappropriate.”

Judging by the 360 comments (and counting) this post has received, the cousin and mother are in the minority there.

“Disrespectful to whom?” asked Mumsnet user brassbrass. “Would the bride and groom have noticed you were wearing the same dress? Would they have cared? Let’s face it, if they had time to care about your dress it would signal they were having a really s*** wedding.”

Others pointed out that men usually wear the same suits to every wedding they attend. There were also several who agreed that wearing the same outfit was a great money-saving tactic.

“Your cousin is totally out of order! Wedding outfits are expensive and add massively to the cost of going to a wedding,” wrote user HellonHeels.

This cost issue is no small matter, despite GameOldBirdz joking about being “cheap.” Last year, an American Express survey found that the average American spends $703 to attend a wedding, and the average millennial spends $893. A Priceline survey placed that number at closer to $600 but said that 39 percent of respondents would decline a wedding invitation due to the expense.

But GameOldBirdz said she really did want to attend these weddings, and so she seems to have followed the advice of fashion experts, such as the editors of Elle, who have demonstrated how to accessorize the same dress differently for multiple events.

“I should say that I did use a different bag/accessories for both weddings,” she wrote, “but the basic outfit was the same.”

If you’re at all concerned about offending others with your outfit, you could go with a service like Rent the Runway, paying just for your single use of a dress. Or band together with another similarly sized pal to share the burden, as another Mumsnet commenter does:

“My best friend and I have a ‘wedding dress’ which we share!” wrote JonesyandtheSalad. “We wear it to any wedding the other’s not at! It’s a great dress and we don’t give a s***. I bought it in a sale at Coast about five years ago!”

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