Vanessa Bryant opens up about ‘unimaginable’ pain of losing Kobe and Gianna: ‘My girls give me strength’

Vanessa Bryant has opened up about her continued grief over the deaths of her husband Kobe Bryant and her 13-year-old daughter Gianna, describing the pain as “unimaginable”.

Bryant reflected on the months since the tragic helicopter accident on 26 January 2020 in an interview with People, where she revealed that there are days that she is unsure if she can “survive to the next”, but that her and Kobe’s daughters Natalia, 18, Bianka, four, and Capri, 20 months, keep her moving and smiling “through the pain”.

“This pain is unimaginable [but] you just have to get up and push forward,” she said. “Lying in bed crying isn’t going to change the fact that my family will never be the same again. But getting out of bed and pushing forward is going to make the day better for my girls and for me. So that’s what I do.”

According to Bryant, who spoke with the outlet for the cover story of the Women Changing the World issue, the memories of the late basketball star and their daughter, who went by the nickname Gigi, also motivate her to keep going and “be better” each day.

“They inspire me to try harder and be better every day. Their love is unconditional and they motivate me in so many different ways,” she said, describing their lasting inspiration as “finding the light in darkness”.

Read more: Vanessa Bryant shares tribute to Kobe and Gianna on first anniversary of their deaths

Ultimately, Bryant said that her goal now is making her family proud, telling the outlet: “I want to make Kobe, Gigi, Natalia, Bianka and Capri proud.”

This is not the first time Bryant has openly reflected on her grieving process since the death of her daughter and husband.

In January, the mother-of-four marked the one-year anniversary of the accident on Instagram, where she shared a letter one of Gigi’s friends had written to her before adding that she misses her “baby girl and Kob-Kob so much, too”.

“I will never understand why/how this tragedy could’ve happened to such beautiful, kind and amazing human beings. It still doesn’t seem real. Kob, we did it right. Gigi, you still make mommy proud. I love you!” Bryant added.

Bryant has also publicly shared her pain and her wish that she died before her daughter and husband so that she would not have to deal with her grief, previously writing: “I wish I could wake up from this horrible nightmare. I’m mad I didn’t go first.”

On the day of the accident, Kobe and Gianna were on their way to a basketball game along with John Altobelli, his wife Keri Altobelli and their daughter, Alyssa Altobelli, as well as Sarah and Payton Chester and Christina Mauser, in a helicopter flown by Ara Zobayan.