The Upcoming “Winnie-The-Pooh” Horror Movie Has Its First Trailer And…Oh, Bother

BuzzFeed
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So, back in May, we were made aware of the existence of an upcoming Winnie-the-Pooh horror movie — which is a sequence of words I never imagined I'd be typing all together in one sentence on a random Wednesday morning.

Walt Disney Studios

Anyway, the first trailer for the project was released today, and when I tell you I'm all in on this thing, I mean it. Check out the waking nightmare here:

The trailer begins with the reveal that Christopher Robin is grown up and has long abandoned his cuddly pals, but is returning to the site of his childhood play, this time bringing a girl back to meet them.

Jagged Edge Productions

However, things in the ol' Hundred Acre Wood aren't so cuddly anymore — oh, and Eeyore's just straight-up dead, I guess.

A tomb reading "Eeyore R.I.P."
Jagged Edge Productions

As with any good (and ridiculous) horror movie, things start to escalate real quick, as Pooh (and Piglet, too!) aim to take their revenge on their young former owner and his friends.

Jagged Edge Productions

The trailer looks...well, wild. Absurd. Bonkers. Unhinged. Creepy. Weird. And yes, I will 110% be watching it, thank you so much for asking.

Jagged Edge Productions

But, most of all, it looks really, really violent. Like, y'all, this bear and pig aren't messin' around.

Jagged Edge Productions

As noted previously, this — obviously, LOL — has nothing to do with the beloved Disney property or those specific characters. For those not aware, author A.A. Milne's original Winnie-the-Pooh tales became public domain at the start of this year, and these filmmakers were quick to create this concept off of that. And I mean literally quick: the film was shot in only 10 days in England.

Winnie the Pooh stuck in a honey tree

So, if filmmakers are taking requests, next up I would like a Winnie-the-Pooh Oceans 11–style heist movie where the whole gang tries to steal a lifetime supply of honey.

Walt Disney Co. / ©Walt Disney Co./Courtesy Everett Collection

Also, I know they probably couldn't do it for trademark reasons, but I do wish I was watching this bear murder people while wearing a red crop top. That's what's missing for me, TBH.

A giant stuffed Winnie The Pooh receives a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in front of the El Capitan Theatre

Imagine this coming at you with a knife! Scary!

Michael Buckner / Getty Images

Well, there ya have it! Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey is "coming soon." And, if you didn't know about this project before and are just learning about it now from me: you're welcome, and also, I'm sorry!

Jagged Edge Productions

What do you think of the first trailer? Share all of your thoughts and feelings in the comments below!