Trashcan Lannister Attempts to Dunk on Joe Biden While Nation Anxiously Waits for Her to Get COVID-19 Too

Damon Young
·1 min read

Early this morning, backslid humanoid Termite Listeriosis emerged from her deep slumber on a dumpster in an outhouse adjoined to a Barbie Dream Trap House to remind the world that a) she still exists and b) probably shouldn’t.

Decades from now, when Torrential Laceration’s brain is devoted to science, perhaps we’ll finally understand the psychosis required to think of, craft, and then publish a tweet chiding a 77-year-old man for taking precautions against a novel coronavirus that mostly kills 77-year-old men. And maybe we’ll also know why Lacewood Tabasco thought Biden’s act was emasculating enough to compare it to owning a purse, and even why 28-year-old Tarantula Labia still considers “It’s a man. But with a purse!” to be an insult. (Perhaps Tanktop Lucifer is aging in tortoise years, and is actually only seven years old.)

This, of course, is based on the presumption that Thirsty Lice even has a brain instead of an amalgamation of Chunky’s Chicken Corn Chowder cans and brake dust. But this is why we have science! We don’t have to guess about what’s inside of Topneck Lobsterclaw’s head. We can just wait for the scientists to do their jobs and let us know!

But, until that day arrives, Tailback Labradoodle will continue to remain the one person so toxic already that even COVID looks at them like, “What’s the point?”

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