Trace Lysette Says a Bittersweet Farewell to Transparent

From twirling on the pole alongside Jennifer Lopez and Constance Wu in the hit film Hustlers to serving up realness on the hit ballroom drama Pose, Trace Lysette has had a great year on-screen. But it was her role on Transparent as Shea, an HIV-positive sex worker, that put her name on the map, in 2014. As a supportive trans friend to the newly out Maura Pfefferman (Jeffrey Tambor), Shea guided her elder through an emotional, new, affirming, and difficult passage—and taught her how to say “Yas queen.”

The award-winning Amazon dramedy comes to an end today, in typically unusual fashion: a 90-minute-long musical episode. In the finale, which takes the place of an entire fourth season, fans will say goodbye to the Pfefferman family: matriarch Shelly (Judith Light) and offspring Josh (Jay Duplass), Sarah (Amy Landecker), and Ali (Gaby Hoffmann). The woman at the center of the story has already departed: Maura dies in her sleep at the episode’s opening. Shea attends the funeral, but this farewell is also bittersweet in the real world for Lysette. Though playing Shea brought the actress the first critical acclaim of her career, her experiences on set brought an incredible amount of pain. (Last year, she accused Tambor of sexual harassment; while he denied any wrongdoing, he was later dropped from the show.)

But like her beloved Shea, Lysette is also an optimistic person, telling Vogue that she has been through a lot in the past year, but that what matters most is the art she and her Transparent family created together, and the ability to use her platform to fight not only for herself but for her trans sisters too.

It’s been a little over a year since you came forward. How are you doing?

I definitely feel like the healing has started, especially after we shot the finale with Jill and Faith Soloway. It brought us back together and helped us push past the trauma so we could create this last chapter…at least for now. Who knows? This may transition into a different story down the road. I hope it goes on to Broadway and gets a spin-off. There has been talk.

Given some of the backlash you received for speaking out, it must have been difficult finally finding some peace.

It was. I felt that my name had been dragged through the mud, and to be honest it was dragged more than any other cisgender woman’s in the #MeToo movement [who went through similar harassment] because of my trans [identity]. It’s like our word doesn’t carry the same weight. But regardless, I’m still here, girl.

Given that the finale centers on Maura’s death, did you have to compartmentalize to create these mourning scenes?

During those moments, especially when I am looking over the casket, I had to use a totally different motivation to get to that emotion and be present. But I also realized that the other actors and I could mourn Maura the character and all the sweet things about her, without mourning Jeffrey the person.

How has Alexandra Billings, who plays Davina on Transparent, helped you heal?

She is a mother, auntie, sister, and friend to me. On my first day back on set, I was so anxious and still feeling traumatized about what happened. So we have this box in the middle of the room, where, whether it’s about a scene or our emotions, the cast and crew can talk about what’s on our minds. All of a sudden, Alexandra walks up next to me and announces, “Everyone, Trace Lysette is back on set today.” They started clapping and cheering and showered me with love. They made a point to make me feel welcome, and that meant everything.

So...this finale is a full-out musical.

I know! It’s great.

When Jill first told you this is the direction they wanted to go, what did you think?

I was a little surprised—well, a lot of surprised—but it didn’t take long to get into the swing of things. And the original music that Faith Soloway wrote is so brilliant. We had so much fun singing in the woods, trying to remember the choreography and falling in the mulch. There was so much laughter. It was truly special.

I felt that the finale had closure for a lot of the other characters, but not for yours. As a full-fledged member of Team Shea, I wished that Josh (played by Duplass) had finally acknowledged the transphobic and painful things he said to Shea in the third season.

I know a lot of fans wanted that too, and we actually shot that scene at the funeral where he apologizes and says, “I’m sorry for being an asshole,” and I was in tears. Unfortunately, it just didn’t make it to the final cut, but know it wasn’t forgotten about.

You were also in this little movie called Hustlers. You play Tracey, another dancer at the club, whose gender identity isn’t mentioned in the film.

When I was dancing at Scores, the same club the film is based on, out of survival, I basically kept my business to myself. I had told a few people, but pretty much no one else knew. So when I met with [director] Lorene Scafaria, we talked about my experiences, but I didn’t think she was going to create a character from it. Honestly, when I heard they were making the film, I tweeted her to say I wanted to help on the film, maybe consult or land an audition. So for her to have listened to me and write this character in this way is dope. Even prior to shooting the film and even with the text of the script, the character being trans wasn’t mentioned.

And yet, that trans visibility is still there because we know and recognize you and your character has a boyfriend.

Exactly. But those in the middle of America or anyone else that says, “I don’t know anyone who is trans,” may see me on that screen and look me up online and see that I am trans. And now, indirectly, they know someone who is trans. At least I hope that happens. I hope Tracey can do that for people.

While this is the most on-screen roles you’ve had in one year, you are also open about how hard it is for trans actresses in the industry. You recently tweeted that sometimes you feel like giving up on acting.

There are only so many “series regular” trans roles on TV. I did a pilot as a series regular in 2015 and it didn’t get picked up, and since then I’ve been bouncing around as a guest star since 2013. Don’t get me wrong, the projects I’m cast in are wonderful, and it’s been interesting walking down the street and having people stop me to talk about how moved they are by my work. But then you look at your bank account and ask yourself, “When will the art start paying off?”

Literally, paying off.

When Michelle Williams talked about pay disparity during the Emmys, I tweeted that trans women should be part of the conversation. When these studies come out about equity in Hollywood, they break it down by race and gender [male and female], but they don’t include trans women, or trans women of color—we don’t even know where we fall; we aren’t even spoken for.

Part of that gap is also due to how rare it is for trans performers to be leads on the shows they are on.

Outside of Pose (which has five series regulars for trans women of color), and Hunter Schafer’s and Nicole Maine’s characters on Euphoria and Supergirl, most of us trans women have these one-off guest spots or recurring roles that don’t always pay the same. It’s just how it is. I’m sure this pay gap per episode is something all guest stars have struggled with. It’s something I wish SAG-AFTRA would address.

Part of this wage gap is also about this misconception that trans actors just aren’t as talented as cis ones. Then, add the fact that so many small guest roles you are cast in don’t showcase your range because your lines are so scarce. It makes me wonder how much trans talent we are missing out on.

You know, I hear a lot that we’re not as talented, and that couldn’t be further from the truth. I happen to believe that trans people are anointed, and because of our experiences and the unique way we see the world, we can bring so much to a role. We just need the opportunity to show that. So hire us as season regulars—we're ready!

Finally, looking at the current epidemic of violence against trans women, what can cisgender women do right now to be better allies?

First, accept us as your sisters. I don’t mean when we’re all in the same room, but when we’re not, and you’re around other cis people, especially cis heterosexual men. Also, please stop shaming men who are attracted to and love trans women. We deserve to be loved and desired just like you, and the stigma you help create is directly linked to our deaths.

Also, educate yourself on these issues and maybe befriend a trans woman so you can understand our journey—you might see how similar our womanhood is to yours. Finally understand that because of who we are, so many trans women have been pushed to the margins. We are constantly playing catch-up, so as you succeed, please don’t forget to reach a hand back to pull us up too.

Originally Appeared on Vogue