Tori Spelling Still Thinks About These Mean Comments '90210' Fans Made About Her Face

Louisa Ballhaus
·3 min read
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Tori Spelling was only 16-years-old when she landed her life-changing role as Donna Martin on Beverly Hills, 90210. And while landing such a big part and becoming part of a hit show may be every actor’s dream, nothing could have prepared Spelling for the onslaught of commentary she’d soon be facing from thousands of viewers, many of whom picked apart her appearance and mannerisms without any regard for the teen girl who might read their comments. In a heartfelt new Instagram post, Spelling is opening up about the vicious bullying she faced as a teen and the lasting impact it’s had on her own relationship to her image — specifically, her eyes. While those who love Spelling would undoubtedly name those wide, expressive eyes as among her best features, the bullying and nicknames lobbed at her eyes in particular have made them a sore spot for Spelling ever since, and she’s tried to control how the camera captures her face ever since.

Spelling opens the confession with an anecdote about her producer dad Aaron Spelling: “My Dad always said ‘Your eyes are the windows to your soul,'” she wrote. “Because of that belief my Dad rarely let his actors wear sunglasses in a scene. He believed their eyes conveyed everything. All emotions. I’ve carried that motto thru my life.”

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My Dad always said “ Your eyes are the windows to your soul”… – I’ve never forgotten that. Because of that belief my Dad rarely let his actors wear sunglasses in a scene. He believed their eyes conveyed everything. All emotions. – I’ve carried that motto thru my life. I always look people in the eyes. I hold their gaze always. I never look away. I’ve taught my kids to always show people respect and look them in the eyes when they are talking to them. – I used to hate my eyes. When I started 90210 at 16 I was filled with low self confidence. Then, internet trolls ( yep we had them back then too!)called me frog and bug eyed. Being put under a microscope as a young girl in her formative years was hard. I spent years begging makeup artists on my shows and movies to please try to make my eyes look smaller. I would cry over my looks in the makeup trailer chair. – I didn’t start to realize what an asset my eyes were till I did Scream 2 and the cover of Rolling Stone reenacting the iconic shower scene from Psycho. My eyes made that photo. They showed the emotion I was “feeling in my soul” in that picture. – Now, my face. Many people ask why I only show one side of my face. Some write hurtful things. Yes, it is a choice. My choice. Because, a vulnerable innocent excited girl showed all of her face at 16 and was eaten alive. Choices about my looks were made for me by nameless and faceless accounts. Words can’t be unread. Cyber bullying existed then and it does now worse than ever. So, every time one of you ask me why I don’t look straight on in photos and videos know why I make that choice. Years of hurtful comments that I don’t even want to share to give them energy. Way worse than bug or frog eyes. Just remember next time that you go to comment on someone’s account regarding their face or body or choices, you don’t know them. They don’t know you. But, their soul will remember that unkind comment. It’ll be imprinted on them. Our memories can’t remember physical pain but we do remember emotional, verbal, and written pain. – That said. Here’s me. Straight on. I love my eyes now. They make me uniquely me. And, I rarely wear sunglasses. (Scroll 2see Rolling Stone cover)

A post shared by Tori Spelling (@torispelling) on Oct 18, 2020 at 12:28pm PDT

But adopting her dad’s philosophy wasn’t always so easy: “I used to hate my eyes. When I started 90210 at 16 I was filled with low self confidence. Then, internet trolls (yep we had them back then too!) called me frog and bug eyed. Being put under a microscope as a young girl in her formative years was hard. I spent years begging makeup artists on my shows and movies to please try to make my eyes look smaller. I would cry over my looks in the makeup trailer chair.”

While Spelling has come a long way from the crying girl in that makeup trailer, she had to adapt to continue living in the public eye. For her, that’s meant only showing one side of her face in photos to give potential bullies less ammunition.

“Many people ask why I only show one side of my face. Some write hurtful things. Yes, it is a choice. My choice. Because, a vulnerable innocent excited girl showed all of her face at 16 and was eaten alive,” Spelling explains. “Choices about my looks were made for me by nameless and faceless accounts. Words can’t be unread. Cyber bullying existed then and it does now worse than ever. So, every time one of you ask me why I don’t look straight on in photos and videos know why I make that choice. Years of hurtful comments that I don’t even want to share to give them energy.”

Spelling signs off with a (much-needed) note warning people, especially people on the internet, to consider the impact of their words before hitting send. “Just remember next time that you go to comment on someone’s account regarding their face or body or choices, you don’t know them. They don’t know you,” she warns. “But, their soul will remember that unkind comment.”

I’m sure every single one of us can remember a harsh word from our teen years that stuck with us way too long. With social media, it’s easier than ever to become the person who does that to someone else — listen to Spelling, and resist that temptation.

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