What TikTok’s Leading ‘Water Sommelier’ Thinks About Your Favorite Brands

·2 min read
 Martin Riese judging the 2018 Fine Waters International Water Tasting Competition in Machachi, Ecuador
Martin Riese judging the 2018 Fine Waters International Water Tasting Competition in Machachi, Ecuador

It’s TikTok official: Some water just tastes better than other water, and that’s an excuse you can use for not drinking enough water.

Okay, fine–not exactly. You should still probably drink water. I’m not a doctor! But it’s true that there’s a lot of variation in water sold by the bottle. And one person has a lot to say about that: Martin Riese, or @martinrieseofficial on TikTok, who describes himself as the “world’s water sommelier and advocate.” What does that mean? Anything you want it to mean, I guess!

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More specifically, Riese has over 266,000 followers who tag along on his journey to find the best quality water, looking at mineral content, smoothness, and taste, among other things. During a “water tasting,” he even introduces us to what he describes as a “thick water.”

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Riese explains things like why you shouldn’t put lemon in your ice water if you’re also drinking red wine (the acidity will numb your palate and make the wine’s flavor less enjoyable) and whether a glass of water can go bad (kinda). In another video, he explains how a generic brand of spring water is better than Dasani (eviscerate Dasani!!! Those bottles are shaped weird!!!)

“Where should our water come from? From naturally occurring sources, like spring water,” Riese says. And in case anyone needed further convincing, FIJI water sucks.

Sometimes, Riese will film himself in the water aisle of a grocery store reviewing things he did or didn’t like, such as Jason Momoa’s Mananalu brand, which he found disappointing after deducing that it’s basically tap water.

While I wasn’t on board with all of Riese’s choices—a TikTok about the water at the Depp/Heard trial?? What are you doing??? No!!!—I was surprised at how quickly I got sucked in by videos about water. I only recently started drinking more than one glass of water a week, and I prefer it fizzy, but learning from someone who cares a lot about good water feels like diving into a subculture. He sure sounds like he knows what he’s talking about. Either that, or I’m just susceptible to believing anyone who’s wearing tiny glasses. You can be the judge of that.