Tess Holliday Opens Up About Experiencing Postpartum Depression with Both Her Kids, 10 Years Apart (Exclusive)

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The model is mom to sons Bowie, 7, and Rylee, 18

<p>Dana Boulos</p> Tess Holliday in Natural Cycles and Is Mommy Okay PSA Campaign

Dana Boulos

Tess Holliday in Natural Cycles and Is Mommy Okay PSA Campaign

Tess Holliday is getting candid about her experience with postpartum depression.

The model, 38, is partnering with Natural Cycles, an FDA-cleared birth control app that's collaborating with Postpartum Support International to bring more awareness to the emotional challenges of motherhood. Holliday, who has been open about her journey with postpartum depression on social media, recently spoke with PEOPLE about how it's touched her own life.

"I have two kids that are 10 years apart and I experienced postpartum depression with both of my children," Holliday tells PEOPLE. "The first child I was 20, single mom. The second child, I was 30, married but not in a supportive partnership."

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Related: Tess Holliday Reveals She Struggled to Bond with Newborn Son: 'I Didn't Feel Maternal Toward Him'

"And I experienced postpartum at a whole new level because I was very much in the public eye in an abusive relationship. And trying to navigate all of those things was very difficult. And so I've shared the struggles that I had with postpartum very openly online."

For Holliday, she says there are "so many times" where she's felt like she's totally lost it as a mom, both when she was dealing with postpartum depression and in her day-to-day life.

"I think sometimes it's just hard being a mom with a 10-year age gap and trying to make sure both kids are happy," she says. "Imagine trying to pick out a movie where an 18-year-old and a 7-year-old want to watch, it's like war of the worlds."

"Sometimes a breakdown can be us just trying to agree on food or a movie or an activity, or you've got an 18-year-old arguing with you and a 7-year-old being a 7-year-old. I would say most of our meltdowns involve what we're having for dinner."

While it can be tough parenting two different generations of kids, Holliday has a few people she can lean on for support.

"My village is small," Holliday says, citing her best friend Jolene as a major help. "I have my family on speed dial. My team is incredibly supportive and understanding."

"For example, having to wrap at a certain time so I can get back to my kids and making sure that my life now can accommodate the fact that I am a single mom and that I really do it myself. My village is smaller than it has been before, but it works and I feel really grateful."

Holliday admits she's had full-time nannies in the past, but wants to break the negative stigma surrounding moms who hire extra help.

"As someone that had a full-time nanny, even though I was married and had a husband that was supposed to stay at home, he didn't really support me much," she says. "In that instance, if I'm the only one making money, if I'm the only one doing things, I have to have someone help me."

"From the outside looking in, it does sound like, 'Oh, you have a nanny.' But I think that it's a lot easier to judge people," Holliday continues. "And yes, of course, celebrities can have all of these things but nobody really knows what goes on behind closed doors."

"And that's why I think that this campaign was so important because it's a lot easier to judge people, but I think whatever people need to do to help raise their kids, we have to do it. Whether that's a nanny or dropping your kid off at your mom's house, not everybody has the luxury to be able to have family support."

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Read the original article on People.