What Teresa Giudice Can Learn From 'Orange Is the New Black' Before Heading to Prison

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Teresa Giudice
Teresa Giudice

Teresa Giudice was sentenced to 15 months in prison for bankruptcy and mail fraud. Starting January 5, she’ll be behind bars for more than a year in the same Danbury, Conn., prison camp that Orange is the New Black is based on. The Real Housewife of New Jersey is known for her done-up look — with hair always styled with bouncy curls, makeup done, along with tight dresses and super high heels to complete the look. But in lockup, those luxuries are few and far between. Yet the ladies of OITNB have demonstrated that a woman’s beauty routine doesn’t necessarily have to be sacrificed while serving a sentence.

Below are tips that Giudice should study up on before heading into holding in 2015. Gia, Gabriella, Milania, and Audriana’s mom plead to the judge for house arrest so she could be with her children, but the court failed to agree. In Giudice’s world (pre-jail-time), it would have been considered a crime to leave her mansion without makeup on. And while beauty supplies are definitely limited in the penitentiary, there are ways to work with what you’ve got.

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Eyeliner Alex Vause uses a permanent marker for eyeliner (don’t try this at home) because desperate times call for desperate measures. Another option is using black or colored pencils for a cute cat eye. Running the tip under water helps the dye stick to the skin.  

Eyeshadow: Use eyeshadow and even a little glitter to get the full effect. Coffee grinds can make a good smoky eye and glitter from greeting cards add a little sparkle. 

Blush: Whle Giudice is used to bronzer and blush piled on for a more extreme and exaggerated look, she might have to settle for Kool-Aid and Crystal Light. The pink lemonade powders create a subtle pink for cheekbones. 

Hair In OITNB, Taystee uses tampons to curl her hair. Simply roll damp sections of hair onto the cylindrical part of the feminine applicator and then tie it into place using the string. Sleep on it, wake-up, and remove them - your hair will be perfectly curled for breakfast served by New Jersey’s “resident Red.” Speaking of Red, she gets the nickname from her vibrant hair color, but getting the look isn’t easy without access to a salon or drugstore. Kool-Aid (once again) may be Giudice’s best bet in the correctional facility (although she may need to concoct something new to keep her jet black in tact). Nevertheless, strawberry jelly and cocoa butter can help on days when the Jersey girl has some fly aways. 

Lipgloss: No Housewife’s look is complete without a shimmery lip. Luckily, taking point from Sophia (Laverne Cox), Litchfield’s resident beauty guru, Kool-Aid also doubles as bootleg lip shine. Combine any powdered juice with a little vaseline or hair grease and the mix is basically just as good as any store-bought product. 

Eyebrows: Giudice’s perfectly-shaped brows require monthly waxing appointments, so 14 months behind bars could be a tough adjustment. But as Daya demonstrates in the Netflix hit, a loose thread pulled from a jacket can pluck the wackiest of weeds (or brows, this is case). Tweezers are strictly forbidden (if you can’t take them on an airplane, there’s no way they’re getting past any prison guards).