10 Things You Should Never Say to a Mom of a Big Family

By Carmen Staicer, REDBOOK

Being a mom of a larger-than-typical-size family is many things. It's crazy; it's tiring; it's always interesting. There's never a dull moment - and, often, those exciting moments come when you are out in public with your family. Here are some of the comments I've heard the most often when I'm out with my big brood - and my responses. I'd love it if you'd share yours with us!

1. "Are they all yours?" I'm not sure why you would need to know this, but no, they aren't. When I go to the store, I load up any kids I find in the backyard. It's always exciting to fill up the van. Never know WHO will end up here!

2. "Do they all have the same father?" Again, I'm not sure why you would want to know this, but are you accusing me of something?

3. "Wow! Your hands are full!" Yes, and so is my heart. Besides, many hands make light work, and my hands are only full if the kids don't do their chores.

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4. "Don't you know how that happens?" (With a shocked look) Yes, don't you? If you don't, we are pretty good. Want us to give you a demonstration?

5. "Are you done?" Yes, unless I have another. OR: Funny, I never thought of myself as loaf of bread before...

6. "Why did you have so many kids?" I was tired of my house being neat, clean, and organized; plus, I was bored.

7. "Don't you have a TV?" Why? Are you offering to buy us one? There's always people arguing over ours, an extra would be a blessing. If you think that watching any TV show is more enjoyable than sex, though, we need to talk.

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8. "Which one would you rather not have?" Yes, someone did ask me this - right in front of my kids. I'll leave it to your imagination to figure out how I answered this one.

9. "Were your kids planned?" Some of the greatest things in life are unplanned. But, in reality, the children are part of my plan to take over the world.

10. "Better you than me!" Funny, my kids say the same thing.

Carmen Staicer is a whirlwind of movement. When she's not ferrying her six children to their various sports/drama/forensics/track meets, she's usually to be found exercising. She's an avid fan of 5K and 8K races and she recently earned her Black Belt in Muay Thai boxing. She never sleeps enough, reads avidly, lives on Vietnamese coffee and is a fan of cupcakes, vodka and nachos. If you can't find her, she's probably been buried under the vast mountain of laundry that never seems to dissipate. Look for her at her main blog, Mom to the Screaming Masses, where she chronicles her story of one woman's insanity with her six kids.

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