The Trick to Keeping Husbands Faithful

Word on the Internet is that oxytocin is better than dopamine.
Word on the Internet is that oxytocin is better than dopamine.

Over the past year hormones have not been my friend. Actually, if I really think about it, they never have been. They're more along the lines of what I'd call a frenemy; our relationship starting at the onset of puberty, as a young version of myself sat taking out the contents of my "Growing Up and Liking it Kit." My hormones make my body go crazy and an already emotional me weepy. They also make my husband ask me questions like "how long do pregnancy hormones stay in your system?"

Despite my love/hate relationship when it comes to my own hormones, there is one particular hormone that I'd love to get my hands on as I continue this emotional roller coaster that became increasingly intense at pregnancy and threw me for a loop at postpartum. I am also fully aware that in my future is another loop, one with hot flashes and night sweats. In the meantime; however, I'd like a little more of that oxytocin. I'd like to bottle it up and perhaps sprinkle a little bit of it on my husband for good measure.

According to a recent article by Your Tango, it just might play a role in keeping husbands faithful. And in the study referenced in the article, oxytocin was actually sprayed on participants. What happened next might have you doing a Google search to see how you too can get a bottle. "Men who were in monogamous relationships and given the oxytocin spray kept a much greater distance" between themselves and the pretty ladies used in the study.

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Speaking of pretty ladies, I'm still working on the whole sexier thing. I got my hair done, put on some heels and did my makeup this past weekend and my Mr. and I made our way to his holiday party. He wore a bow tie (a real one, thank you YouTube tutorials) and then when it was over we left, picked up our little ones, and came home. I nursed our littlest, rocked her to sleep and stayed close by to make sure she was out. The next thing I knew I was waking up to a dark house and a time on my phone that was followed by the letters "a" and "m". It was morning!

Word on the street Internet is that oxytocin is the good stuff, even better than dopamine. It is a hormone that promotes "social bonding." As for the keeping spouses faithful thing, oxytocin helps people get closer and, as suggested by the article, perhaps if one is closer to their spouse they are less likely to be unfaithful.

So I'm on a mission. Ok, maybe not a mission but this study has me curious, not so much because I am concerned that unfaithfulness may rear its ugly head in my marriage but, because I think my husband and I could benefit from a little increased social bonding. Between work, and school, parenthood and life, the two of us have both been exhausted lately.

When it has come to my own hormones I've tried the rest (and really have had no choice in the matter thank you pregnancy) and now I need to get re-acquainted with the best. They say oxytocin is present in large quantities during pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, and sexual activity but somehow my personal stash went missing. I seem to have gotten an extra helping of the hormones that result in a weepy, irritable, tired me but I'm running low on the one hormone my husband would surely love to see more of present in me and directed at him.

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I'm adding oxytocin to my Christmas wish list. A little for him, a little for me and we will see what happens. Hopefully eventually we won't have a night that ends up with me awakening to a symphony of snores because I was so exhausted I fell asleep again. These days I can't stay awake long enough to get the good hormone on my side when it comes to me and my husband. I'll be honest and say I do need a little rest too. An exhausted mama is not always the ideal candidate for some "social bonding" with the husband (which is why it would make things way easier if I could get some oxytocin in a bottle!).

I personally wouldn't go so far as to give oxytocin credit for keeping spouses faithful or making them close but perhaps when coupled with time, effort, and a good night's sleep you've got a winning (more faithful) hormonal combo.

- By Krishann Briscoe
Follow Krishann on Babble

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