By Ronnie Koenig
You might think you have sexy down to a science. But do you know what real men actually want in a lover? Read on to find out.
When it comes to sex, you can get an "A" for effort. Guys want to be with someone who's actually into sex and not doing it as a favor or just going through the motions.
"There is nothing more seductive than an enthusiastic lover," says Lou Paget, certified sex educator and author of The Big O: Orgasms: How to Have Them, Give Them, and Keep Them Coming. "That beats out the perfect body or the perfect face anytime. A man wants feedback that a woman is into doing things with him!"
Men want a lover who is willing to try new things from time to time. That doesn't mean you have to go all 50 Shades of Grey. Just be open to ideas.
"Sexual desire is like an appetite," says Paget. "We all want to try different flavors -- otherwise we'd get bored eating at the same place all the time. Men want someone who is willing to explore unique feelings and new sensations."
Worried that whatever you do is suddenly going to become part of your nightly repertoire? Don't think of it as a can of worms. Most likely the occasional change-up is all he needs.
We normally think of women as the ones who need reassurance about their appearance, but men get insecure, too. A lover who will find something to compliment and worship about her partner will never lack affection from him.
"Every man wants to know they have that special something that turns a woman on," says Paget. "It could be something that turns her head or something like his intelligence or sense of humor that she finds incredibly sexy."
It's not a cliché, ladies. A man wants a woman who will tell him what to do -- at least in the bedroom. Most guys will be thankful for a little instruction, especially if it means they'll succeed at pleasuring you.
"A woman who can guide you with sounds or one word responses is preferred as it takes away the guess work," says Paget. "Just remember to avoid acting like a sexual traffic cop!"
Men want someone who will leave the lights on and let him get a good look at her. Stop worrying about covering up any squishy parts.
"Indirect lighting is Hollywood's best friend and it can be yours as well," says Paget. "Need I repeat that men are visual creatures and they want to see their partner? It's a big part of their turn-on factor."
Confidence is sexier than anything!
Sex on the Brain
A woman who keeps sex in the forefront of her thoughts knows how to inject it into life outside the bedroom -- and that's sexy. Try sexting him or be extra naughty and playful in public.
"Do it in a discreet way," say Paget. "Let your partner know that you're thinking about sex throughout the day. Remember, your brain is your sexual power source."
To read the rest of things men want in bed, click here!
More from iVillage.com:
The Rules: How to Have a One-Night Stand
Dating Online? Watch Out for These Red Flags to Avoid Disaster
Our Brains on Sex: How Men and Women Think About the Dirty Differently
By Ronnie Koenig