By Anna Breslaw
There are so many reasons to date a dude a few years younger, including: Stamina! The bright, hopeful gaze of a child! Stamina!
1. He has more energy - and his influence might make you healthier and more productive. Maybe you want to sleep in until 2 p.m. on a lazy Sunday, but he wants to get up, make eggs, run some errands at Home Depot, and have sex with you for 1,000 hours and/or until your vagina Can't Even.
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2. He's less cynical. Unless he's had an especially soul-crushing unpaid internship, he's probably got some beautiful illusions about his promising place in the workforce. And we both know you can use some positivity in your life.
3. He's eager to please sexually. Not only has he got the energy thing on his side, but it's unlikely that he'll be a selfish lover. You're like the Mrs. Robinson he has to sexually prove himself to! He will listen and possibly take notes! Whatever tips you suggest to him will be imprinted on his unformed brain and carried over to all future relationships. With great power comes great responsibility, bra.
4. And he's open-minded too. He might be into, say, letting you put things in his butt. Or having you sing "The Bear Came Over the Mountain" while putting things in his butt. If that is your heart's desire.
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5. He is at least partly into you because you impress him. Being the older woman means, among other things, that you are independent, smart, and have your shit together. And rather than this being intimidating, it turns him on.
6. He's down with letting you call the shots. For instance: During sex, Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey listen to ... wait for it ...Mariah Carey. When it comes down to it, you're the alpha dog in the relationship. Because you're the grown-up, and grown-ups know better. Just kidding, kind of.
7. He's more likely to take advice from you without letting it bruise his ego. For instance, he knows you are more familiar than he is with the job search, so he listens when you suggest that, I dunno, maybe he shouldn't use Comic Sans for his resume font.
8. He's got less romantic history for you to deal with. With a younger dude, there is less of a chance of getting damaged goods - a guy fresh off a broken-off engagement, for instance, or finding an old live-in ex-girlfriend's body wash (Cookie dough? Who uses cookie dough body wash) in the shower.
9. You'll spend all your time at your place because his is either gross or his parents' house. So he'll be the one doing all the traveling. You'll basically never have to do a Walk of Shame in your entire relationship. Sweet.
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10. You can relive the most fun parts of your younger years without suffering through the worst parts. The occasional late night, unexpectedly fun house party, and kinda decent obscure band whose album he burned for you? Check. The ambivalent dudes, shitty apartments, and entry-level bullshit job? Still in the past.
11. He won't judge you for quitting a job you hate, traveling around Europe, or making some other random quarter-life detour. While someone a little older might worry that you're veering off the path you should stay on, a young guy will encourage you to keep ~*~*~fOLLoWiNg yOuR dReAm~*~* to become a hand model or a papier-mâché artist or whatever.
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