10 Signs You Need to Update Your Online Dating Profile Immediately

by Gena Kaufman

Thayer Allyson Gowdy
Thayer Allyson Gowdy

Last night as I looked around my room, filled with suitcases and boxes and a million piles of clothes messily divided into "Keep" and "Give Away" piles, I knew I had some important work to do before I move back to New York. So naturally, I went downstairs, got a glass of wine, and worked on updating my online dating profile so I could start scoping dating prospects in NYC.

What, you guys? I'll pack later.

Anyway, as I updated my zip code so I could see the guys in my new (again) neck of the woods, I took a look through the rest of my profile, which I haven't done in a while. As I read through it, I noticed that a) I still think my own profile is totally funny and cute and b) it's kind of outdated. Most of what was was written was originally composed back in 2008, my first small brush with online dating during a split with my boyfriend. After we reunited, I shut it down, but when I signed back up years later, I just re-used the original profile, just adding a pic to show what I looked like at 30 rather than 26 and a few references to living in Ohio.

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Luckily, it only took a few tiny tweaks to update to seem more like the me of today. (For instance, I'm so over baking cupcakes and onto perfecting mini-pies!) I haven't changed that much in a few years, but I did want to present the most current version of myself.

Has it been a while since you updated your profile? Here are some signs you're long overdue:

1. Your profile references your support for Senator Obama in the upcoming election.

2. You mention that you hope to one day have a marriage as awesome as Amy Poehler and Will Arnett. (Yes, I'm still sad about this!)

3. Your profile pictures all show you with long platinum blond locks, but you're currently sporting a jet black bob.

4. Your "profile pictures" are a collection of a wallet-sized photos your grandma gives out to members of her church group with single sons.

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5. You list your favorite book as The Da Vinci Code, followed by "Wouldn't that make a great movie?

6. Actually, if you reference The Da Vinci Code for anything other than to make fun of Tom Hanks' hair, go ahead and update your profile by taking that off. Thanks.

7. You describe yourself as an undergraduate student, but you've been practicing medicine for three years.

8. Your online dating profile is a Myspace page.

9. Your "online dating profile" is a recurring ad in a newspaper. A newspaper that went out of print in 2004.

10. Your "online dating profile" is the dowry your parents have described to the eligible gentlemen in your home town.

Do you keep your profile updated, or have you had the same old answers for a while?

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