Fox News Invents Entirely New Demographic Called "Beyonce Voters"

By Eliza Thompson

During his coverage of the Supreme Court's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Hobby Lobby decision, Fox News correspondent Jesse Watters invented a fun, new voting demographic: "Beyoncé voters." By "fun" and "new," I mean extremely offensive. Discussing Hillary Clinton's response to the decision, which allows employers to reject birth control coverage if it contradicts their religious views, Watters said Clinton "needs the single ladies vote" to win the presidential election in 2016. "I call 'em the Beyoncé voters," he continued. Lest you think that means "smart, empowered, independent women voters," read on and weep.

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"Obama won the single ladies by 76 percent last time, and they made up about a quarter of the electorate. They depend on government, because they're not depending on their husbands. They need things like contraception, health care, and they love to talk about equal pay," Watters explained. Because if you're a woman and you're single, you couldn't possibly get contraception or health care on your own without being married, and as everyone knows, not being married automatically makes you a burden on the federal government. What's especially ironic about Watters using Beyoncé's name in vain like this is that she outearned her husband last year. So really, if anybody's getting a free ride in the Knowles-Carter household, it's Jay Z.

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