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If we learn anything from the harrowing tale of 53-year-old rancher Frank Reynolds, let it be this: never, ever leave home without a 12-pack. On July 4, Reynolds rolled his ATV while working with livestock on a neighbor’s ranch near Gillette, Wyoming, the New York Post reports. Reynolds found himself unable to move for two days, pinned under the ATV with a dislocated shoulder and several broken ribs. Fortunately, he had a cooler full of water and Keystone Light beer within arm’s reach.
After rolling the ATV, Reynolds had to think quickly. Per the Post, he was able to reach the horn on the ATV’s handle, but no one could hear his honking in Wyoming’s remote country. Thus, Reynolds lay trapped for two days. It’s unclear exactly when Reynolds started chugging the beer; he was, however, adequately hydrated thanks to his steady Keystone guzzling. He drank water, too, but I like to think the beer is what really kept him going.
Eventually, Reynolds’ friends and family organized a search for him on horseback and located the injured rancher and immediately transported him to a local hospital. “It was scary as hell is what it was,” Reynolds told local news source the Gillette News Record from his hospital room. Reynolds said he was “pretty much out of it” by the time he was rescued. “Everything on the left side pretty much hurt, from the top of my head to my toes,” he said.
Reynolds is expected to fully recover after a hospital stint. Let’s just thank the beer gods that Reynolds traveled with an easy-drinking light beer. Can you imagine the agony of chugging a six-pack of Guinness while stranded in rural Wyoming? Or some sort of grassy, vaguely rubbery IPA? Or—shudder—a warm coffee stout? I’d rather perish under an ATV.