Stephen "tWitch" Boss's Widow, Allison Holker, Opened Up About How She Explained His Death To Their Kids
This post discusses suicide.
As you recall, Stephen "tWitch" Boss — a dancer, choreographer, producer, and TV personality — died by suicide in December 2022. His death devastated so many people who watched him as a staple on The Ellen DeGeneres Show.
And this week, tWitch's wife, Allison Holker, sat down with Today's Hoda Kotb for a super-revealing, beautiful interview, where she talked about her late husband and how she's navigating grief.
"I still feel like the rest of the world — I'm still shocked," she said. "There's no one that saw this coming. I feel so sad that he was so there and we weren't in the knowing. He wanted to be the strong one for everyone, and I think that was a little scary for him, that he might've needed to ask for help."
She continued, "People say a lot of like, 'What were the signs?' and you know, he was so much love and light. He really wanted to be everyone's superman — he said that a lot. He could hold so much for people. It was hard for him to process that at the end."
Allison said she has gone back in her mind and tried to figure out if there were signs that she missed. But now she tries not to. "I had to tell myself, I can't change anything that's happened." Still, Allison talks to him every night.
Allison then shared how she explains tWitch's death to their three children, who are 14, 7, and 3 years old. "[The conversation] is honestly something I wouldn't wish for anybody. It's really hard," she shared.
"If it's one thing I've learned, it's that communication is key. To us, Daddy's in the stars, so we can go outside and talk to him whenever we want," she said.
"First off, they just ask, 'When is Daddy coming back?' And that's a really hard one. And then a couple weeks later, they'll be like, 'But does he come back when he's older?' But they are still children, and still obviously want him here."
After the interview, Hoda shared with her Today cohosts that Allison told her that recently, she went into her children's room and they were talking out of the window at the sky. When Allison asked them what they were doing, they said, "We're talking to Dad."
Allison has now partnered with mental health organization NAMI Westside Los Angeles, saying, "What I would really love is to bring awareness to mental health — to open the conversations, to hopefully help people to feel comfortable asking for help. I really do want to make an impact on behalf of someone I love so much."
You can watch Allison's interview with Hoda here.
Dial 988 in the US to reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Other international suicide helplines can be found at befrienders.org. The Trevor Project, which provides help and suicide-prevention resources for LGBTQ youth, is 1-866-488-7386.