Your Spoiler-Heavy Recap of 'The White Lotus' Season 2 Finale
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This story contains spoilers for the Season Two finale of The White Lotus.
Please give Chef White my compliments. Few people can successfully run back an anthology series—hell, any great season of television—much less make it better than what came before. In Season Two, The White Lotus showrunner turned his original eat-the-rich-while-they're-on-vacation formula into something far more atmospheric, layered, and genuinely funny. Really, it doesn't get better than Tanya asking Quentin whether or not Greg is having an affair seconds after she lodged a bullet in his chest.
Jetting to Sicily this time around, White slowed down the pace of the series to the sludge of lava working its way down the side of Mt. Etna. You had the distinct feeling that you were about to melt to death, but there was plenty time to toss back a few drinks. The season finale, which hit HBO this Sunday night, finally brought us home. We saw how Lucia wins; we said goodbye to our beloved Tanya; and we watched Ethan and Harper go down as some of the few guests of a White Lotus property to leave in better shape than they arrived. So put on your bucket hat and oversized shades, folks—and let's dive in.
"These Gays, They're Trying To Murder Me!"
That they are, Tanya! That they are. About midway through the finale, what's essentially an amalgamation of Tanya fan theories proves true. Quentin and his merry band of friends—which includes one scary, sexy mafioso—want to kill Tanya and take her money. The plan: have Jack whisk Portia away on a Sicilian adventure, get Tanya on a boat headed back to Taormina, kill Tanya.
Through a fortuitous phone call between Portia and Tanya—who yes, are absolutely more alike than they think, both falling for charismatic men and the exact same con—the two women realize what's going on. Portia confronts Jack, who so kindly dumps her on the side of the road in the middle of the night. Tanya? Well, Tanya has to fight. She leaves dinner, picks up Chekhov-Niccoló's gun, hiding nearby, and locks herself in a bedroom. When Quentin and the gang pound on the door, Tanya goes 007 on everyone except for that one character whose name we never learned and the ship's captain. Of course, this is our clumsy, lovable Tanya, so any act of heroism can't last for long. Trying to escape to a getaway boat, Tanya falls into the water—to her death. (More on that later.) We see that Tanya is the body Daphne finds in the water.
Most of us Tanya-will-die truthers pointed to the clue White left us in the opera—that its main character, which moved Tanya to tears, commits suicide during the play. Well, Tanya does kill herself—just... by what White called, after the episode, "a derpy death."
A Drunk, Dumb Nothing
The fearsome foursome's climax lives up to the wild shit Reddit had in mind. See: a Marvel-level battle between Ethan and Cameron. The first act of the finale reckons with everyone's drunk, dumb nothings—and in the end, Harper unknowingly goes eye for an eye with Ethan. (Ethan kisses Mia; Harper kisses Cameron.) Ethan nearly strangles Cameron to death over it all, before going on a strange jaunt with Daphne, which I'll also get into later on. Whatever happens, Harper and Ethan not only show, finally, that they have some level of fondness for each other, but they have sex.
What's Ethan's big breakthrough? In his post-episode interview, White nods toward the camp of critics who long speculated that Harper and Ethan would need to introduce a level jealousy to their relationship to keep it alive, just as Cameron and Daphne do. I don't know—maybe it's as simple as Ethan just working through his insecurities by beating the living shit out of his college bully? I'm going with that.
Karmic Payments
Let's start at the end. The three Di Grasso men, all going googly-eyed at the same woman, putting an entirely too on-the-nose level of truth to Bert's "Achilles Cock" comment. After Albie rebranded to Mark (get it?), Dominic caved to his son in the name of fixing his long-broken marriage, and Bert is just kinda horny. It feels like a dark statement from White: these men are fucked. Sure, Albie might shoot Portia a text during Intro to Brit-Lit, but as long as he just can't help but throw his gaze at the hottie in the airport, he will always be, in some ways, his father's son, who is firmly his father's son.
As for Lucia and Mia? They've always been somewhere between mischief, Robin Hoods, villains, and heroes. The finale leaves it that way. Lucia gets her payday—which, presumably, means the realization of her Hollywood dreams—and Mia the seat at the piano. Both come at major moral costs. But in the end, White may tip where his heart lies with a final shot of the two women, arms around each other, absolutely beaming, before disappearing in the crowd.
Damnit, I Still Have Questions
I get that Alessio was in on the con. Somehow. But was he Lucia's brother after all? Boyfriend? Simply a buddy who helped sell the act?
And this is the obvious big one leaving the finale: what the hell happened between Daphne and Ethan on the island? There's a part of my brain that—at this very moment, at least—feels like that interaction was a dream. Daphne and Ethan are both acting like they've had 10 random pills from Lucia's purse. Whatever it is, Ethan is looking much better when we see him again. I doubt that he would full-on cheat with Daphne to get back at Cameron; I also don't think anything Daphne said could've calmed Ethan down in that moment.
Tanya's death felt... weird. Look at it again. Her legs smack against the railing of the boat—not her head. She just kinda flips sideways; it's like a football tackle when someone's legs are swept out from under them. Couldn't Tanya just swim up to the boat? Is this pop culture's next big Titanic there-was-room-on-the-raft moment?
Where does Jack go from here?
This isn't a question, but—long live Valentina, who proves to be a pure heart amidst all the mayhem. A strong contender for Esquire's MVP of the finale.
Mike White is already on the Greg and Portia of it all. Here's what he said in the after-episode interview: "I think as far as like, what happens to Greg and the conspiracy of Tanya's death, it's possible that I think Portia is scared enough to just leave it alone, but the fact that all of those guys die on the boat, it feels like there's gotta be somebody who's gonna track it back down to Greg. But maybe you'll have to wait to find out what happens." Interesting!
So Cameron and Daphne weren't scammers after all? This is just a bros trip turned bad?
Will Albie's ego ever recover after an Italian sex worker scammed him out of €50,000???
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