Spencer Pratt Didn’t Invite Brody to His “Bachelor Party” Because of Stephanie

From Cosmopolitan

Love is in the air on The Hills. Spencer and Heidi renewed their vows (and commitment to pop music), Audrina reconnected with Ryan Cabrera, and Brandon and Ashley are (kinda?) boyfriend and girlfriend now.

But not everything’s coming up heart emojis. Audrina and Stephanie are sworn enemies (at least on Stephanie’s side), Brody and Kaitlynn weren’t invited to Spencer and Heidi’s bachelorette—although they were definitely still making a show of being married—and poor Whitney Port was relegated to the teeth-whitening chamber once again. Hey, at least she got more screen time than Mischa!

We need to break down exactly what was real and what wasn’t, so we got the godfather of crystals, Spencer Pratt to weigh in.

On shopping with Whitney Port:

One thing about being a reality TV guru is that when you know people aren’t featured on the show much, you start feeling like, “Oh, let me bring them into a scene.” I was just trying to help Whit out a little bit—show off her fashionista skills and make sure she’s getting paid for that episode.

I know there are many charities I could spend my time on, but as a philanthropist, I don’t know if there’s anything more rewarding to me than ensuring that people are getting checks for being on a reality show.

If you listen to Whitney’s podcast, Kaitlynn mentions that I reached out to her and Brody two years ago to revive The Hills. It’s nice she remembers that I was trying to get them checks too.

On Ashley trying to make friends with Stephanie:

I just love watching other people have to deal with Stephanie. Ashley’s over here trying to confide in her about what she’s going through with Jason, and Stephanie thought that was a perfect time to promo her Wikipedia page.

Ashley was sitting there like, Oh, yeah, my husband’s going through the hardest thing he’s ever had to do in his life, but I definitely want to hear all about your drug problems when you were 15 years old, because that totally relates to what I’m trying to tell you about the father of my freaking daughter. Wow! The Wahlers are going to draw so much strength from your journey, Steph!

Is Stephanie’s “misunderstood”?

Stephanie’s a professional reality star. It’s all about screen time for her. She’s like, Oh wait, somebody took a story line that I can have? Wait, I’m relapsing right now! I’m high! Jason can’t have my story line! I’m Gone Girl! I’m Girl, Interrupted!

I don’t even know why Ashley’s trying to be friends with Stephanie. Isn’t she Audrina’s bestie from way back when? It doesn’t sound like a good idea to start a friendship with someone who calls your BFF “Enemy Number One.” That’s a big mystery for me.

On Heidi being back in the studio:

We’ve got Justin Bobby trying to be an Indonesian rock star, Ryan Cabrera playing his guitar on the dinghy, and even Brody’s dropping a single. The Hills is alive with the sound of music! With Heidi getting back into the music game, this would be a good time to call up Diddy and see when he’d like to film a crossover with Making the Band.

I thought we’d never make any more music after we spent $2.7 million on Heidi’s pop album. I thought music was done. Now, Heidi’s going to be the Britney Spears of Christian pop! It’s all our prayers being answered. I wish she could have performed at our first wedding. That’s the only thing that would have made that day better.

Also, the paper cup they gave me in the studio had a little wine in it, so I was definitely feeling the spirit. I couldn’t be more proud. Team Heidi for life.

Why Brody wasn’t invited to the bachelor party:

You know, I really tried. We were talking, we were all cool, but then he went off on Stephanie and I didn’t want her to come at me the way she came for Audrina. So I couldn’t invite Brody to the vow renewal until she got her apology. I didn’t want her to come up to me on my most special day and be like, “You were partying with Brody after he allegedly verbally attacked me.”

I understand that Brody didn’t want to apologize to her, especially because of the things Stephanie said in Vegas, but I was really frustrated. Like, Dang, you won’t even send a “Sorry” text to come celebrate and party with all your friends?

He didn’t even have to do a scene with her. He could have just dropped a voice memo with “Sorry if things got out of hand the other night,” and we would have all been cool. That was a defining moment in realizing that Brody didn’t care at all about being friends with me.

I called. I texted. I left messages. I really wanted him to be the bigger person so that he could show up and kick it and celebrate 10 years of marriage that he helped set up. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what happens.

On Stephanie referring to Audrina as “Enemy Number One”:

I’m just so happy that someone else is going to be the focus of her podcast for a little while.

On Audrina not wanting to go to Heidi’s bachelorette party because of Stephanie:

Now people know what I’ve been dealing with my entire life! I completely related to Audrina in that moment.

If Stephanie’s invited to a party, you don’t even need to worry about the entertainment because you know she’s going to light someone up. Just hand Stephanie a microphone and see what happens. She’ll put on a show! No one will like it, but it’ll definitely be a show.

On Stephanie blurting out that Ashley’s not the only girl Brandon is dating:

Between Stephanie’s behavior and her accent, you don’t need a drag queen to provide any entertainment. She keeps it very...I just heard Heidi say “dramatic” in the background, so we’ll go with that. I definitely felt bad for Brandon’s girlfriend but I guess she’s not actually his girlfriend because they’re just exclusive but not in a relationship? How does that work?

Heidi: I knew a fight was coming. Stephanie had that glimmer in her eye. She kept saying little remarks to everyone all night. To Mischa, to Audrina, to Ashley. I knew eventually she was going to end up fighting with somebody. It may have seemed like mentioning Brandon’s other dates was an accident, but she was very methodical. I had just asked her not to mention any other girls right before that happened. She heard what I said and thought, Oh, mention another girl! That was just very malicious.

On Stephanie’s “British” accent:

I just want to hear what British citizens in a coffee shop think about her accent when she orders her crumpets and tea. I just want to know what actual British citizens are saying when they hear her talk.

On Stephanie calling Gunner an “excuse baby”:

Oh yeah, Heidi totally had a baby so we could get out of things. Absolutely. Heidi definitely wanted to leave her bachelorette party early to go and put her baby to sleep. She sure looked like she was having a terrible time twerking on drag queens! Right on, Aunt Steph!

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