Sorry, but there’s no excuse for hitting a seagull with a stick

·1 min read
Seagulls feasting on styrofoam containers on a beach
Seagulls feasting on styrofoam containers on a beach

There are a few ways to deal with a disrespectful seagull trying to snatch your food. You can clap your hands to scare the seagull away. You can place your food in some sort of container until the gull gets bored and leaves. You can look the seagull dead in the eye and scream “BEGONE!” in a menacing tone. Smacking a seagull with your walking stick is not an appropriate way to deal with the winged menaces—and yet, that’s exactly what one Bristol man did in an attempt to protect a stranger’s hamburger.

The Bristol Post reported that a passing gentleman was enjoying a hamburger around 11:30 a.m. when a seagull flew down and “pulled the burger out of his hands.” Onlookers reported that the individual “just carried on walking” while “[shaking] his hands in the air in frustration at his lunch being stolen.” However, another man proceeded to hit the seagull with his wooden walking stick, injuring the gull’s wing. The man attempted to injure the bird further; fortunately, nearby shopkeepers wrapped the seagull in a towel and held it while police were summoned. The Post reported that police then “took the bird away and removed the alleged attacker from the area.”

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Can’t believe I have to say this, but there’s really no excuse for injuring wildlife if you’re not in any imminent danger. Sure, seagulls are aggressive, smelly pests, but their brains are quite literally the size of a pea. Swat them away, spew a few profanities—hell, douse them with water from a squirt gun—and get on with your day.