Seth Rogen's Stoned Recap of 'Cats' Is the Most Enjoyable Way to Spend Your Time Right Now
Seth Rogen has managed to find at least one unique way to pass the time while in self-isolation: Get stoned and watch Cats, which is now available to rent on Apple.
If you completely avoided the Cats rigmarole late last year, A) good for you and B) here’s a rundown: every cat sings a song about themselves for entirely too long, some cats disappear, and then one is chosen to go die in a hot air balloon. Critically, no one except my dad liked this movie, which was a twist but a big win for Taylor Swift.
Rogen, however, gets it. As opposed to going into this terribly crafted, acid trip of a musical sober, he got high as a kite and offered commentary on the whole thing. In a 27-tweet thread, Rogen navigated the monstrosity of a Tom Hooper film. After passing through it all, even a stoned reading of Cats isn’t too far off from a regular viewing, though it’s also probably a lot more enjoyable that way. Anyway, in case you’re not ready to watch yourself (or just want to test the waters on watching it absolutely blasted), here’s a rundown of how it went for Rogen.
Did they commission little chucks from the cat shoe maker?
— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) March 18, 2020
They made them go to cat school.
— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) March 18, 2020
At this point, the poor guy encountered the mice, which really is a horrific turning point in the movie because the mice and cockroaches just have full human faces. It’s some Poltergeist level horror-bullshit.
The mice!?!?!?!?!?!!?
— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) March 18, 2020
This is so “Broadway funny”.
— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) March 18, 2020
“Let’s make 35 nonsense songs introducing cats!” - The makers of cats.
— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) March 18, 2020
Jason Derulos feet don’t look like they’re touching the ground.
— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) March 18, 2020
Fun fact: in the initial, uncorrected version, multiple cat actors seemed to be suspended above the ground. Cinematographers asked “can we?” when in fact they should have added “should we?”
Judi Dench is in a cat fur coat which I can only assume is socially APPALLING in this world.
— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) March 18, 2020
WHAT IS JELLICLE?!,!?
— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) March 18, 2020
Honestly? No idea!,?!
Their tales are dancing.
— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) March 18, 2020
These cats are straight up wearing white chuck taylors!!!
— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) March 18, 2020
How many times they say the word “cat” in a this?
— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) March 18, 2020
“Do it more like a cat!” - the director of cats. “You sure it’s not weird?” - actor in Cats. “Nah fam it’s fucking genius! People have loved this shit for decades! It’s perfect!”
— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) March 18, 2020
These cats love to mess up a made bed.
— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) March 18, 2020
Wide Awake!!!!! Ahaha
— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) March 18, 2020
Out of respect, I’ll leave Idris out of all this.
— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) March 18, 2020
Get well soon, Idris. We’re rooting for you, bloke.
Alright I’m turning this off and watching 90 day fiancé. Good night. Stay clean as fuck.
— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) March 18, 2020
Yeah, so, there you have it. Rogen didn't finish the film (no one blames him), so maybe this fever dream will pick up in the coming days. Anyway, in this precarious time, don’t think twice if you want to get stoned and watch Cats. In the end, stoned or not, none of us actually watch Cats, as much as Cats just kind of happens to you. Lean into the unknown of it all.
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