Selma Blair gets emotional about struggles with MS: 'I choke with the pain of what I have lost'

Hannah Yasharoff
Updated
Actress Selma Blair is opening up about how her life has changed since learning she has multiple sclerosis.

Selma Blair is opening up about how her life has changed since her multiple sclerosis diagnosis.

"There is a truth with neurogedenerative brain disease. It is uncomfortable," Blair, 46, began a lengthy Instagram post Monday. "It is a stadium of uncontrollable anxiety at times. Going out, being sociable holds a heavy price. My brain is on fire. I am freezing. We feel alone with it even though the loving support has been a god send and appreciated."

Blair, an actress known for roles in "Cruel Intentions" and "Legally Blonde," previously revealed that she learned about her diagnosis last August. Since then, she's been vocal about her battle with the disease.

Selma Blair
Selma Blair

"People write me asking how I do it. I do my best," she continued in the post. "But I choke with the pain of what I have lost and what I dare hope for. and how challenging it is to walk around. But my smiles are genuine. This is ok. Life is an adventure with many shards of awakening. I can’t sleep at night but daytime I have trouble staying awake."

She concluded: "I am a grown woman holding onto a bear that belonged to a sister type of mine... I have a full week ahead with mothering and appointments and things to look forward to. But like many of us, I am praying. Soaking in love where I can. It’s not easy. That’s ok."

There is a truth with neurogedenerative brain disease. It is uncomfortable. It is a stadium of uncontrollable anxiety at times. Going out, being sociable holds a heavy price. My brain is on fire. I am freezing. We feel alone with it even though the loving support has been a god send and appreciated. People write me asking how I do it. I do my best. But I choke with the pain of what I have lost and what I dare hope for. and how challenging it is to walk around . But my smiles are genuine. This is ok. Life is an adventure with many shards of awakening. I can’t sleep at night but daytime I have trouble staying awake . I am a grown woman holding onto a bear that belonged to a sister type of mine. ( thank you @k.d.w.r ) we do what we can. I have a full week ahead with mothering and appointments and things to look forward to. But like many of us, I am praying. Soaking in love where I can. It’s not easy. That’s ok. I send love to you. And by the way, this #eileenfisher sweater is my go to cozy tonight in this hotel room. Thank you. And @lorrigoddard_ I can’t thank you enough for the morale boost of blonde. And to my love @mrchrismcmillan 🖤 #humancondition #strengthinvulnerablity #MS #stillanactress #always #willmakeitwork #heartwideopen ❤️ #thisisforallofus. #littlethings

A post shared by Selma Blair (@selmablair) on Jan 13, 2019 at 9:57pm PST

Blair, 46, received her MS diagnosis after seeing actress Elizabeth Berkley's brother, a doctor who identified lesions on her MRI.

The National Multiple Sclerosis Society website describes MS as "an unpredictable, often disabling disease of the central nervous system that disrupts the flow of information within the brain, and between the brain and body."

The cause is unknown, the site says, though the disease is believed to be triggered by an environmental factor in a person with a genetic predisposition to respond. Most people are diagnosed between ages 20 and 50, and women are two to three times more likely to receive the diagnosis.

More: Selma Blair reveals she has multiple sclerosis: 'I want my life to be full somehow'

More: Rachel McAdams, Selma Blair join women accusing James Toback of sexual harassment

Contributing: Kim Willis, USA TODAY

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Selma Blair gets emotional about struggles with MS: 'I choke with the pain of what I have lost'