The secret to dealing with an inhospitable Airbnb host
A reader asks...
The last time my family stayed at an Airbnb, the host huffed about us being late for check-in, warned us not to download anything over the Wi-Fi, and hovered over us in the kitchen as if we were a suspected ring of Nutribullet thieves. My wife has insisted on giving it another go and booked us into a town house in Brussels. How do we handle a host that isn’t hospitable?
We say...
Airbnb and other property rental sites such as onefinestay and HomeAway have sparked the biggest revolution in the travel industry since budget airlines. Airbnb in particular has brazenly yanked the rug out from under the hotel industry’s feet, and spawned entire nations of amateur hoteliers.
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Staying in an un-hotel can be a delight. Plenty of amateur hoteliers are far better than professional hoteliers, it turns out. The indignities of staying at a bad hotel – the snooty concierge, the rigid check-out, the denial of one’s basic human right to make a cup of tea with fresh milk instead of a plastic thimbleful of UHT – can be sidestepped.
Airbnb and the hotel industry aren’t really at odds, of course; there will always be a place for good hotels. It’s just the rubbish ones that need to worry; the overpriced, middle-ranking, complacent, thoroughly meh properties kicking up a fuss about Airbnb. Yes, there are issues to navigate within this booming new sector but, broadly speaking, Airbnb et al have made travel more enjoyable, convenient and affordable for travellers.
Sadly, there are Airbnb hosts who will have you longing for a beige bedroom in a Travelodge. To paraphrase Tolstoy, all good Airbnb hosts are alike; each bad host is bad in his or her own way. There are the out-and-proud Basil Fawltys, inhospitable humans who have bafflingly leapt into the hospitality industry. Hosts who make you feel guilty for breathing, making a cup of peppermint tea, going online, talking to your partner in your bedroom. Who find your arrival an inconvenience, your departures an encumbrance, and your presence a burden.
There are rule-loving hosts who opened their homes in order to have a few more people to boss around, would-be military dictators operating their own personal fiefdom around the Aga. Naturally, the risks are greatly reduced when you rent the entire property, rather than taking a room or a granny flat and sharing communal areas.
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The trick is to mark your territory the moment you arrive, by sprinkling key phrases in every corner. Start with,“Nice lamp. I must remember to compliment the interior design WHEN I WRITE MY REVIEW ON MONDAY.” Perhaps throw in a “How HOMELY this HOME-FROM-HOME is; we really feel at HOME here, you’ve done a great job of HOME-MAKING.”
But the ultimate power move, the real flex of homestay muscle, is this: “Can I offer you a cup of tea?” Enjoy your new home in Brussels.
Travel etiquette | Advice on holiday conundrums
