Science Dad Jokes Are the Best Dad Jokes

Emily Kelleher
·3 mins read

These days, we could all use a good laugh. Laughter has been shown to reduce stress, strengthen the immune system, relieve pain, and boost mood. In many ways, jokes are good for your health. Or at least the good ones.

The best comedians know that being funny requires knowing your audience. If you’ve got a science lover on your hands, telling them a few science jokes lets them know you get it. After all, an understanding of some basic science is a prerequisite to getting the joke. It gives you a reason to laugh together, if not bond over Newton’s Laws.

The best part of these science jokes is the discussions that happen afterward. Science jokes force listeners to use their noggins, and kids will inevitably have questions — about how black holes are formed, how tectonic plates shift, and what the heck tungsten is. As you seek out answers together, the joke only becomes funnier.

  1. Q: Why did the cloud date the fog?
    A: He was so down to earth.

  2. Q: Why are chemists so good at solving problems?
    A: They’re always working with solutions.

  3. Q: What did one tectonic plate say when he bumped into another?
    A: Sorry! My Fault.

  4. Q: What did the infectious disease say when the bartender refused him service?
    A: Well, you’re not a very good host.

  5. Q: How did the thermometer insult the graduated cylinder?
    A: She said, “You may have graduated, but I have more degrees.”

  6. Q: What will never go viral no matter how popular they get?
    A: Antibiotics.

  7. Q: Why is so hard to wake up in the morning?
    A: Newton’s First Law: A body at rest wants to stay at rest.

  8. Q: Why is the dieting advice to “eat light” so dangerous?
    A: That’s how you become a black hole.

  9. Q: What did the science book say to the math book?
    A: You’ve got problems.

  10. Q: What are the primary elements of a sense of humor?
    A: Sulfur, Argon, Calcium, and Samarium. Otherwise known as SArCaSm

  11. Q: What do protons and life coaches have in common?
    A: They know how to stay positive

  12. Q: Why did the chemist hang up periodic table posters everywhere?
    A: It made him feel like he was in his element.

  13. Q: What did the helpless T cell say when facing the infection?
    A: Is there antibody out there?

  14. Q: Why is combining a proton and an electron to make a neutron so popular?
    A: It’s free of charge.

  15. Q: Why did the physicist break up with the biologist?
    A: There was no chemistry.

  16. Q: What did the proton say to the electron to start a fight?
    A: I’m sick of your negativity.

  17. Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite element?
    A: Aaaaargon

  18. Q: How do geologists ask each other out?
    A: They say, “Are you a carbon sample? Because I’d love to date you.”

  19. Q: Why couldn’t the geologist think of the joke?
    A: It was on the tip of her tungsten!

  20. Q: Why were oxygen, hydrogen, and carbon wearing suits and ties?
    A: They were a formyl group.

  21. Q: What did the scientist say to the chemist whose lab smelled like eggs?
    A: Sorry for your sulfering.

  22. Q: What do you call it when a biologist takes a photo of herself?
    A: A cell-fie

  23. Q: Why is the ocean so salty?
    A: The land never waves back!

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