Sam Heughan Opens Up About Outlander, Friendship with Caitríona Balfe & His Family in Best-Selling Memoir Waypoints
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When I first picked up Waypoints, by Outlander’s Sam Heughan, I have to be honest, I thought I’d be reading a book about a man walking up a snowy mountain. The sixth grader in me, who was forced to read White Fang, where a man and a wolf wandered endlessly in the snow for 557 pages (or what seemed like it at the time), was worried. The thought of that long book still sends a chill through me. But this book surprised me. In the best possible way. Yes, it’s about a man walking up a mountain. Yes, there is snow. No, there’s no wolf (though I am betting the author wishes there would have been!) And yes it sent chills through me, but it also warmed my cold heart and managed to make me cry before the first page.
Heughan’s memoir is a vulnerable, emotional ride through Scotland, with Heughan as the witty, weather-challenged, guide of a great journey, juxtaposed with the story of his childhood, the tough road as a struggling actor, his relationship with his family, being raised by a single mother, and a devastatingly honest look into his father’s abandonment and reappearance. Heughan also opens up about his long-standing friendship with Outlander co-star Caitríona Balfe and the unfortunate dark side of fame they’ve both had to endure as a result of their popularity in the hit show. With Waypoints, Heughan has now become a three-time New York Times best-selling author. Plus, he did all of this in a pandemic – while everyone else baked bread. Heughan’s memoir is refreshingly honest and funny – and here are some of the best parts.
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Saying Goodbye
Waypoints begins sort of ominously. Heughan and his brother enter someone’s house in Canada, and you soon start to think they might be at a fan’s house, as Heughan discovers Outlander DVDs on the shelves. But the owner is someone who has been watching Heughan from afar. His father – who had left them when Heughan was very young. But this visit isn’t necessarily a happy one. His father is dying, and they are told that he’s not ready to see them.
“And I would walk 500 miles…”
When season 6 of Outlander wrapped, Heughan decided to do something he’s always wanted to do, a 96-mile West Highland Way hike that would end with him climbing to one of the highest points in Scotland, Ben Nevis. He decided, perhaps naively, to do this without putting much thought into it. Now was the time, and he couldn’t wait a moment longer. He ran to the store and bought all the essentials. The person at the store told him to get walking poles, which Heughan initially laughed at. Those little sticks would soon become Heughan’s most valuable possession, more so than his travel coffee maker. If I ever climb a mountain, I too would prioritize my coffee. Also, I wouldn’t climb a mountain. So I guess, it’s just called having coffee.
The Lone Walker
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Heughan excitedly began his walk, wanting to decompress after the intense filming of season 6. But soon he realized, he had taken on too much, and packed too much. He felt, cold and alone, weighed down by walking poles, coffee makers and all the other items in his backpack. Cold, wet and miserable, by the second day, he decided that he would abandon the trip altogether. But after texting a few friends, some of whom may have given him tougher “support” than he wanted, he decided to lower his expectations and try and enjoy the trip a little more. He also buried many of his items in his backpack in the snow. But not his walking poles. Who knew this book would also be a love story-comedy between a man and his walking poles?
The Stetson Hat
Heughan’s love for his mother and appreciation for how she encouraged creativity is at the heart of this book. As Heughan embarks on this extremely intense walk, he flashes back to when he started acting as a young student. He reveals he was a shy kid and that being on stage gave him confidence. He fell in love with the theater and being on stage, but he struggled for many years as an actor. In fact, he would be in his early 30s before he got Outlander.
One of the best parts of the book is the self-deprecating humor with which Heughan tells stories from his past. Like the time he found himself wearing a Stetson hat, in an attempt to stand out in Los Angeles. Deflated after a bad meeting with an executive, Heughan walked down the Hollywood Walk of Fame in his Stetson and caught sight of his reflection in a window and realized how “ridiculous” he looked. To make matters worse, the only restaurant around was a cowboy-themed restaurant. He says people probably assumed he was there for his shift. Then his cell phone beeped, he hoped it would be good news about an audition. Instead, it was a notification that his bank account was in the red. He cried. Feeling like a failure, he returned to London, questioning whether he should be an actor at all.
The Red Wedding
Upon returning to London, Heughan decided to work for a friend’s catering company, while he continued to audition. In Game of Thrones, actor Richard Madden was (spoiler alert) viciously murdered at what is now called the “Red Wedding.” Heughan and Madden ran into each other at a party, and emotionally, it seems it was Heughan’s very own red wedding. Stay with me, Madden didn’t gouge Heughan with a knife and murder everyone else at the party.
Heughan was a waiter, and when Madden came over to grab a drink or food off the tray, Heughan exclaimed, “Richard!” He and Madden had met a few times through Heughan’s ex-girlfriend. But Madden did not recognize, or even hear or acknowledge him and walked away. You know how it feels when you wave at someone and they don’t see you? Yeah, that. Heughan was mortified. In Madden’s defense, when a tray of food or drinks comes near me, I only see the food, and very rarely the person carrying the tray. Sorry! I love a tiny hot dog wrapped in a croissant. (I refuse to call it a pig in a blanket). Perhaps Madden was blinded by the hot croissant dog, too. But either way, Heughan says it gave him a kick in the proverbial pants when it came to his career.
“You’re Jamie Fraser!”
The moment when Heughan receives the call from his agent that he got the part, and heard, “You’re Jamie Fraser,” you can’t but help feel the emotion in that one little life changing sentence. Heughan immediately hung up and then screamed for joy in a parking lot.
Heughan recalls the day Balfe walked into audition, which was the first time they met and had their chemistry test. One might argue they invented chemistry based on this audition, which you can see on the Outlander DVDs. They performed a scene from the Reckoning, where Jamie and Claire get into a very intense lovers quarrel. Heughan says they “tore chunks out of each other.” But they both knew in that moment that Jamie and Claire had come to life. If you watch the audition, it’s hard to believe they had just met. In fact, there’s little difference between this audition and the scene that made it to our screens.
Heughan and Balfe’s lives changed virtually overnight. And with that came a lot of good. One being the fans. The fan base from Diana Gabaldon’s books quickly embraced the two of them, even before the show aired. Combining his love of fitness and their passionate fan base, Heughan started a charity called, My Peak Challenge, and raised over £30,000 by running two marathons for cancer charities. Fans also supported Balfe’s charity of choice World Child Cancer. Since then, the charity donations have expanded to refugee organizations and the environment. Few television shows have had the charitable power that the Outlander cast and fan base has.
Friendship with Caitríona Balfe
After being cast as Jamie and Claire, Heughan says that he and Balfe both instinctively felt protective of each other, and that support continues unflaggingly to this day. When asked in a recent Good Morning America interview about what makes Outlander such a hit, Heughan simply answered, “Firstly, I mean, my chemistry with my co-star Caitríona Balfe, she’s an incredible actress. We were two green actors, we didn’t have much experience, and we’ve been on this amazing journey together.”
Heughan and Balfe are consistently supportive and quick to praise one another. At the season 6 Outlander premiere in London, Heughan told SheKnows, “From when we started, she’s one of my best friends. She’s a great confidant, she’s a great actress, we spend a lot of time together. We’ve become so close.” Heughan continues, “And we’ve grown up together as well from the beginning where we knew nothing really, to now where we’re producers on the show…. Not only that, on set, she’s a great set partner, she’s generous, great humor, worst humor actually – because she corpses all the time. She’s strong, she’s thoughtful, she knows what she wants from a scene, yet she’s open to anything. You know what! Great in a basketball team, great in an American football team, she can get in there amongst the guys, she would knock you over… she’s the MVP of the Outlander team.”
Laughter Instagram
Balfe told SheKnows, “I hope he knows how much I appreciate him. He’s such a gentle soul and he creates such an easy environment no matter where he goes. He’s kind to everybody. He is very funny. I’ve been really lucky. I’m sure I annoy the hell out of him every so often! We really, at this point, feel like family. He allows me the space to be myself. May roll his eyes behind my back! I hope what we do is allow each other to work each other’s thoughts out… without impinging upon each other. We give each other space.”
Recently, Heughan accepted the Esquire Award in Madrid, and told ABC.es that he and Balfe have been “two partners since the beginning of the series. We have always supported each other and without her, there would be no Outlander.” Balfe and Heughan are quick to attribute the show’s success to each other, and anyone who watches the show will tell you it’s both of them together that make this show stand out. In his acceptance speech, he thanked his mother, Balfe, his friend and make-up artist Wendy, and his agent Ruth as the strong women in his life who have guided him. He also called attention to the women of Iran and the humanitarian crisis taking place.
Outlander
Heughan gets very honest about the show that’s changed his life – the good and the bad. Outlander is known for the chemistry between Balfe and Heughan, and in particular, the sex scenes. As young actors, they had to navigate intimate scenes together, and Heughan says they were “constantly looking out for each other.” But in the season 1 finale, Heughan says he fought against nudity in brutal scenes between Blackjack Randall (Tobias Menzies) and Jamie Fraser. In the end, they didn’t use the footage that Heughan believed “sexualized a horrific experience,” but he says his trust in the creative team was damaged. In season 6 of Outlander, Balfe and Heughan were producers. Heughan brought on Vanessa Coffey, an intimacy coordinator, so the actors wouldn’t have to go through what he, Balfe and Menzies had to face on their own. Intimacy coordinators advocate for actors and liaise between the talent and production. Essentially, Coffey made it possible for safe and sexy to exist together. Balfe told SheKnows at the end of season 6 that after working with an intimacy coordinator, she wishes they had had one from the very beginning.
Having worked together for almost 9 years, the costars have a say on set. Now, executive producers of a show they both love, Heughan and Balfe not only lead on set, but get to have creative input behind the scenes too. No longer naïve young actors, they now are role models to the younger cast. Sophie Skelton, Richard Rankin, Lauren Lyle, John Bell, and Caitlin O’Ryan have all spoken about this.
Hairy situation on the Outlander set
Heughan treats fans to a number of fun behind the scenes stories, including revealing why Jamie Fraser wears wigs. Heughan had to dye his hair red to meet the Jamie Fraser signature ginger locks demand. But it was dyed so much that his hair started to fall out! Hence, began the wig era. But it was all to save his hair. What’s one wig with bangs, if it means saving his head?! Call him Hairy Styles. Even Heughan admits not all the wigs were great. (Hey, season 4, looking at you). And let’s be honest we all learned a valuable lesson, wigs shouldn’t have bangs. Thank you. That is my position on this and it will not change.
The Darker Side of Fame
For as much good as Outlander has brought Heughan, he admits that it came with the loss of his cloak of invisibility. Heughan’s fondness and appreciation for the fans of Outlander is obvious. But it’s also something he grapples with. As a people pleaser, Heughan says he doesn’t want to disappoint fans, but he also values his privacy.
Heughan and Balfe’s great chemistry on and off screen has come with what Heughan refers to as the “dark side of fame.” Heughan confesses he resents having to address the stories made up about them. Balfe has also discussed how their private lives have been invaded, and hence they are much more guarded with what they share online, understandably so. Heughan laments it’s unfortunately not easy, and calls out when a Scottish newspaper even published his address.
“High on a hill was a lonely Heughan…”
Although Heughan begins his journey walking alone, the most humorous moments in the book are when you can tell he misses human interaction. He ends up befriending mushrooms. Yes, mushrooms. Fungi, to be exact. You know how Tom Hanks befriended a volleyball named Wilson in Castaway? Same sitch. Heughan talked to the mushrooms, told them a few dad jokes, and even took several selfies with them. I love truffles, so I support the fact that this man talked to mushrooms. Period. I will say nothing more on the matter. Oh wait, one more thing. Heughan’s mushroom friends have led to fans constantly tweeting mushrooms at him. Hopefully, they’ll send actual truffles to him, and then it will have all been worth it.
Some of the best parts of the book are when he runs into random strangers in the wild and then they suffer, er… enjoy, walking together through miserable weather elements, shin splints and aching Achilles. A traveler named Graeme recognizes Heughan right away. He says, “I saw your movie, it was shit.” And a beautiful friendship was born.
When Heughan’s caught by a stranger taking a selfie lying down with mushrooms, it will give you the laugh you need. The fact that there is no video footage of this moment is one of life’s greatest disappointments. There is a photo with Heughan sitting next to a magical red mushroom, like what you’d see Super Mario Bros leaping over, and I fully understand why Heughan took a selfie with this little red shroom. Sam Shrooghan. (Some puns just don’t work, but still I try). Luckily, that stranger who caught him taking the mushroom selfie, Lucy, wasn’t totally freaked out. They walked together and she affectionately nicknamed him, “Scottish elephant.”
At one point in his walk, Heughan screams out of pure joy, “Scotland,” à la Julie Andrews singing “The Hills Are Alive in The Sound of Music.” Though Heughan’s theme song would probably be “Climb Every Mountain.” Often this book seems more like, “High on a hill was a lonely Heughan,” (go on, sing that line) especially when he’s caught talking to mushrooms. What I’m saying is, the entire soundtrack of The Sound of Music can be applied to his Waypoints walk.
We learn a number of other things on this Scottwalk. Does Sam Heughan have a fear of cows? He might. That is a very important part of this book that has been overlooked by everyone. But know this: He is scared of cows.
Opening up about his dating life, Heughan admits he’s a big fan of romance, but worries he won’t be able to sustain relationships because of the demands and schedule of his job. He also confesses how guarded he’s become due to Outlander’s success. He readily admits this is an issue and also says the fact that he is the son of a father who disappeared is never far from his mind.
Waypoints is a surprisingly good book about mental health, due to Heughan’s candor about anxiety, confidence, body issues, and relationship challenges. He even admits that he had a low-level eating disorder earlier in his career. But it’s his vulnerability around his father, something that is obviously painful for him that gives the book an emotional resonance that sets it apart from other books of this genre.
Get ready to laugh, cry, realize it’s okay to feel lonely, mourn your past, and look forward to walking through the snow in Scotland. (Especially if someone else is doing it, and you get to just read about it, curled up by a fireplace). Waypoints is available as an audiobook as well. The hard copy includes some great photos of Heughan’s life and walkabout. And the audio book makes you feel as if you’re walking with him. But seriously, know you will be crying before you even get to page one. And if you’re not, I’m sorry you don’t have feelings.
As for Outlander, they are currently in production in their 7th season, which will have 16 episodes and premiere in 2023. Although an 8th season hasn’t been announced, the end of Outlander hasn’t been announced either, and that has to be a good sign. Gabaldon just finished the ninth book earlier this year and is already hard at work on her tenth and final book focusing on Jamie and Claire’s story. Hopefully, Heughan and Balfe will bring Jamie and Claire to the end of their story on screen. Who doesn’t want to see Jamie and Claire still in love in their 80s?!
While you wait for Outlander to return, Waypoints is the walk you need and Heughan is the perfect narrator walk alongside. So when people ask me, have you ever climbed a mountain, after reading this and listening to the audiobook, I will say, “Yes.” Thanks for the walk, Sam Heughan.
Before you go, check out the all-time best ‘Outlander’ episodes you need to watch.
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