MLB’s COVID-19 problem continues as 13 St. Louis Cardinals test positive, including seven players, the New Orleans Saints are creating a voluntary mini-bubble for its players and staff, and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has bought the XFL. PLUS: U.S. Olympic swimmer Katie Ledecky swims the length of an entire pool while balancing a cup of chocolate milk on the back of her head and Buccaneers QB Tom Brady is stuck in the dark ages, using an iPhone 6.
KATIE LEDECKY: Woo.
JARED QUAY: That was Katie Ledecky swimming the entire length of a pool with a cup of chocolate milk on the back of her head. And she ain't spill a drop.
[WATER DROP SOUND]
- Not one.
JARED QUAY: And while Katie isn't dropping the ball, or crying over spilt milk during COVID, the same cannot be said for the MLB. The St. Louis Cardinals are dealing with 13 positive coronavirus cases. And you know that's bad because nothing good ever happens with the number 13. I mean, most hotels don't even got 13 floors. Seven of the 13 are players, and what's worse is, eight of the 13 that tested positive are experiencing symptoms.
The team is currently being quarantined in Milwaukee, while the league has canceled the Cardinals series with the Tigers. But the league is planning for St. Louis to resume play on Friday against the Cubs.
KEVIN HART: Wait, what?
JARED QUAY: Look, I'm no doctor, but first there was an outbreak with the Marlins, and now there's a second team with double digit positive tests. At what point do you throw your hands in the air and say, you win COVID, and then go home and have an extended summer vacation? Maybe, if the MLB would have done what the New Orleans Saints are trying to do, they wouldn't have been in this predicament. The Saints are trying to create a mini bubble for its players and its staff. Or as head coach Sean Payton calls it, a sequester.
JARED QUAY: Now this bubble is completely voluntary, so the Saints are trying to bribe their players by renting out four floors of the Loews Hotel in the French Quarter. And judging from the website, the digs do look pretty nice. There could be worse places to quarantine. It's obvious the Saints are looking at the NBA, and the MLB, and it's pretty clear which league they're trying to imitate.
HOMER SIMPSON: First one. The first one you said.
JARED QUAY: But the biggest question is, will the rest of the NFL catch on? My guess is, yes, they will.
NED FLANDERS: You betcha.
JARED QUAY: Because if they don't, they're gonna let The Rock rock bottom their candy asses with his new investment.
SPORTS ANNOUNCER: Rock bottom. Rock bottom.
JARED QUAY: Dwayne The Rock Johnson has bought the XFL just hours before the bankrupt football league was set to be auctioned off. The Rock and his investment partner, RedBird Capital, split the 15 million dollar price tag right down the middle.
THE ROCK: I'm what you call an iced, cold can of whoop ass.
JARED QUAY: And this is good news because if there is no NFL, well then you know XFL gonna have that bubble life poppin'. They gonna be ready for COVID. And we need football back bad. I mean, without out, we seen Tom Brady walk around with an iPhone six. I mean, he gonna need that [INAUDIBLE] money. Why you got an iPhone six? I mean, you-- you make millions of dollars a year. You walking around with a phone that when out of style in 2003. Let me guess. You keeping that phone for the last time you lost to Eli Manning in the playoffs, huh? It's a symbolic meaning, huh?