Robert Pattinson's Pasta Recipe Includes Corn Flakes, A Lighter, And Nine Packs Of Sliced Cheese
We all have a lot of things on our minds lately, I get it! But I would ask you to spare a thought for one extra thing today, and that's Robert Pattinson's truly insane pasta recipe. It has plagued my thoughts for hours, and now I must burden you with it as well.
In a recent profile by GQ, which was styled as dispatches from his social isolation, my man R. Patz discussed a great many thing including his upcoming starring role as Batman, being terrified to run outside (same!), and, most notably, this very unhinged pasta recipe.
Robert begins by saying that he went on YouTube to try and figure out how to microwave pasta (???) which he later describes "really actually quite revolting." Yes! I could have told you that. Then he goes on to describe his business plan for making "pasta you can hold in your hand," called Piccolini Cuscino, which he even pitched to restauranteur Lele Massimini, the cofounder of super trendy sushi spot Sugarfish. WHAT?
Finally, we get to the good stuff, where he actually cooked us his portable pasta. The dish, which I will 100 percent be recreating, is made up of corn flakes, which he got in place of breadcrumbs because "that’s basically the same shit," a novelty lighter, NINE packs of pre-sliced cheese, and sauce. WHAT??
"He puts on latex gloves," the profile reads. "He pulls out some sugar and some aluminum foil and makes a bed, a kind of hollowed-out sphere, with the foil. He holds up a box of penne pasta that he had in the house. 'All right,' Pattinson says. 'So obviously, first things first, you gotta microwave the pasta.'"
WHAT??? Needless to say, I am UPSET. Have I thought of anything else in the last hour or so since I read this? NO! The profile goes on to chronicle the pasta-making process where Robert burns one of his latex gloves that he was wearing for...reasons? He also maybe puts aluminum foil in the microwave.
Read the whole profile, join me in confusion and admiration and heaps of worry for our beloved Robert. Someone download Postmates for him please!
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