After the 'red wave' flop, we need new male political experts who are always wrong. I'm in.

As the dust settles, it’s clear the key takeaway from the midterm elections is this: America’s cable news networks need to clear out their stable of male pundits who are consistently wrong about everything and bring in some fresh male voices who will also be consistently wrong about everything.

As someone who checks both boxes – male and regularly wrong – I humbly submit my application to fill this important role.

If you weren’t paying attention to the men on television who get paid large sums of money to be incorrect, you might have missed their incessant, supremely confident and wildly wrong predictions of a Republican “red wave” in the midterms.

The wrongness of the pundits prior to Election Day was staggering

►On Oct. 27, Fox News host Jesse Watters told Geraldo Rivera the GOP would win the Senate and the House. Watters was so confident he bet Rivera $1,000. (Democrats kept the Senate and if the GOP does win the House, it will be by a narrow margin.)

►On Nov. 4, Fox News contributor Newt Gingrich predicted that Herschel Walker would win the Georgia senate race without a runoff (he didn’t), that Mehmet Oz would win the Pennsylvania Senate race (he didn’t) and that Blake Masters would win the Arizona Senate race (he didn’t). Gingrich also guessed Republicans would wind up with a 44-seat advantage in the House, which we already know won’t come close to happening.

►Sean Hannity responded to the predictions by saying: “You’ve never been wrong. You’re almost always right.”

There are bad male prognosticators on TV, then there's CNN's Chris Cillizza

The day before the election, Fox News host Pete Hegseth said: “This midterm election is the end of Joe Biden's political career. When the red wave comes, and it is coming, Joe Biden’s political utility is over.”

Over on CNN, the most regularly wrong person of all time, Chris Cillizza, wrote columns with these headlines in the run-up to Nov. 8.

On Nov. 3, in a piece on CNN’s website, he wrote: “Biden’s decision to use his bully pulpit – just days before the election! – to give a speech about democracy seems like a strategic blunder given what we know about the electorate and its priorities.”

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Cillizza and all the rest of them were wrong about everything. And on Cillizza’s last point, exit polls by the Associated Press found that 44% of voters said the future of democracy was their primary consideration for voting.

There was no Republican red wave, but there was definitely a television pundit “wrong wave.” And I want in on that.

I am among the best at being wrong. Call me, networks

For too long, my ability to be invariably wrong about things has gone unappreciated. It’s clear from the money cable news networks are paying these other men that there’s a market for erroneousness, and it’s high time those networks brought in some fresh male voices that sound self-assured despite lengthy track records of speciousness.

GOP and Trump: Republicans won by losing the right races this week. And America is better because of it.

Here are just a few of my qualifications:

  • I predicted that “Morbius” starring Jared Leto would be one of the best Marvel movies of the year.

  • Since the beginning of the NFL season, I have incorrectly picked the winners of games more than 70% of the time, all while insisting I follow football “very closely” and “really have a good sense of the sport.”

  • In 2016, I didn’t believe Donald Trump would win the presidential race, and every month thereafter I have predicted that something he did or said “would be the end of him this time.”

  • Prior to the midterm elections, I wrote about the risk posed by Republican election deniers who were on ballots across the country. That was a Cillizza-like wrong prediction that I’m very proud of.

Former President Donald Trump in Miami on Nov. 6, 2022.
Former President Donald Trump in Miami on Nov. 6, 2022.

Why should I get the job? I'm a man, and I'm rarely right about anything

It’s with great and wholly unearned confidence that I say, without hesitation, that I’m the man for the job of being wildly incorrect on television.

I’m male, and I’m wrong a lot.

What other qualifications does one need?

Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on Twitter @RexHuppke and Facebook:

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This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: CNN and FOX were wrong about 'red wave'. I can be wrong too. Hire me.