Most of my white friends are waking up to anti-racism now, particularly after the video of George Floyd’s murder went viral. Don’t get me wrong. I’m thankful for their newfound enthusiasm and commitment. They’re reading books like I’m Still Here: Black Dignity In a World Made for Whiteness and How to be An Antiracist. They’re listening to the New York Times 1619 podcast. Some have been posting articles about activism, police brutality, and that they absolutely believe that Black Lives Matter. Their evolution has been beautiful and encouraging. They’re learning about white privilege, systemic racism, and microaggressions.
However, simply reading a few anti-racism books and sharing viral articles on social media isn’t enough. White people need to keep doing the work of allyship, taking their activism beyond sticking their noses in books.
My anti-racism education has followed an atypical timeline. My husband and I did read several books and articles, as well as had important conversations, prior to adopting transracially over a decade ago. However, the vast majority of our race education came from experience. We saw first-hand what being a multiracial family meant, especially how the clash of whiteness and Blackness made others feel. Some of these “others” weren’t afraid to bombard us with questions or render an unsolicited opinion about race in America. We received one of two responses from strangers. The first was discomfort steeped in ignorance and racism. The other was tokenism.
Allyship is desperately needed. Until white people come alongside Black people and fight as one against systemic racism, nothing is going to change. What is allyship, though? How does it manifest in everyday life?
Headed out to medical appointments — and taking the opportunity to let others know that my son and all Black boys deserve a promising future — opportunity, respect, love, and freedom. 🖤 My heart is heavy right now, especially for Black boys with special needs. Kids with disabilities are often afterthoughts, in last place, not prioritized when decisions are made. (Pair these realities with race: discrimination, stereotypes, microaggressions, etc) Priority is given to the “norm” and the “typical.” Thank God for disability laws, but we need more. Policy changes. Educated and woke people in the board rooms. Because being Black, male, and having special needs is major in this country. 🖤 my tee is from @stoopandstank — a #blackownedbusiness This isn’t just a tee; this is activism 🖤Are you parenting a Black child with special needs? How are you right now? What’s going on with school in the fall? 👇🏿👇🏼👇🏽👇🏾 . #coronavirus #blackboys #specialneeds #specialneedsfamily #specialneedsparents #backtoschool #whitesugarbrownsugar #blackownedbusinesses #multiracialfamily #wednesdaywisdom #wednesdayvibes #wednesdaymotivation #wednesdaymood #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #autismawareness #adhd #autism #adhdawareness #sensoryprocessingdisorder
A post shared by Rachel Garlinghouse (@whitesugarbrownsugar) on Jul 22, 2020 at 12:39pm PDT
Let’s be clear what allyship isn’t. Allyship is not listening to Beyonce, pretending to be colorblind, or being extra nice to Black people. Allyship isn’t reading To Kill a Mockingbird or watching a movie like The Help or The Blind Side and then thinking you’re woke. Resources written by and centering whiteness are not ally-friendly. They do more harm than good. Cultural appropriation also isn’t the way to go. Please don’t try to put your white daughter’s hair in cornrows. For the love of God, do not try to relate to a Black person by joking that you’re getting your summer tan on and will soon be as dark as they are.
Also, yes, you can have a Black partner, child, friend, neighbor, or co-worker and still have some serious work to do. You don’t get a ticket out of accountability because you know a Black person or even live with one. Allies aren’t users.
Allyship is also not plucking up a popular anti-racism book, reading it cover to cover, and then placing it on your bookshelf while you go about your best life. Again, I appreciate your effort. I truly believe that every little bit of self-education is important and can have a powerful impact. However, dabbling in anti-racism isn’t going to get the job done.
I mean, we knew it was going to happen, but it's still hurtful and disheartening. We don't need bandwagon allies who only advocate, protest, educate, make calls, donate, and call out racism when it's trendy or directly after another Black person loses their life. Being anti-racist is lifelong and on-going work.
A post shared by Naomi O'Brien (she/her) (@readlikearockstar) on Jul 17, 2020 at 4:59pm PDT
Likewise, attending a single protest, signing one petition, or sending one email to a senator also isn’t allyship. This isn’t a “one and done” situation. Allyship is an ongoing commitment to racial equity, and it’s most effective when policies and the people in power change. There’s no checklist that makes you a good and safe white person, just in case that’s something you’re searching for.
Instead, you have to be willing to continuously be uncomfortable, learning how white supremacy manifests every day, and then work to dismantle that system. I encourage fellow white people to bloom where they are planted. For example, they can join committees in their kids’ schools, speak up at work against racists policies and practices, and have honest conversations with Black friends and family members. Allyship involves talking less and listening more. It also means putting into practice what has learned, being willing to make mistakes, and not giving up.
Anti-racism manifests in our own circles. It means educating our children on how to be anti-racist, teaching them real history and not whitewashed, fluffy nonsense. It means calling out racism, even if the speaker is your favorite uncle. A person’s generation isn’t an excuse to be racist. It means carefully choosing what books, art, toys, films, and music you choose to entertain in your own home, too.
Curling up on your couch to read a book about anti-racism is a great step. There’s no true change without education and empathy. However, we don’t need anyone treating the racial equity uprising like a trend. This fight has been going on for well over four hundred years. You’re just waking up to it.
It’s @reesewitherspoon and my little green book 😍• Posted @withregram • @reesewitherspoon Have you read our @reesesbookclub pick, ‘I’m Still Here’? @austinchanning has written one of those books that you need to keep around, keep going back to, and keep talking about with friends and family. A beautiful and timely memoir that really opened my eyes and made me think. Sharing my conversation with the brilliant author herself in my stories! I’d love to hear your thoughts and learn about how it’s sparking conversation in your life. 📚
A post shared by Austin Channing Brown (@austinchanning) on Jul 13, 2020 at 12:22pm PDT
If you’re going to be a genuine and effective ally, you need to be in it for the long haul. Self-reflection, listening, learning, and changing are deeply important and do not happen overnight. If you truly care about Black people, you won’t just read a bestselling book and call it a day. Having an enlightening moment is one thing, but staying woke is another.