I Ranked The Avengers Based On How Good They'd Be As Coworkers
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As more and more people slowly begin returning to their offices for the first time since the pandemic began, many of us are being forced to remember what it's like to coexist in the same space as our coworkers.
But as I found myself struggling to adjust to the mere thought of having to leave my bed and actually exist around other people, I decided to escape that impending reality by watching as many MCU movies as I could. And as I watched these heroes routinely rescue humanity from total annihilation, I began to wonder which of them I would most want sitting at the desk across from me at work.
After all, while the Avengers may be experts at saving the world, that may not translate to the world of all-hands meetings and small talk about weekend plans. Surviving in the modern workplace requires a specific set of skills that no amount of super strength can make up for.
So which of these superheroes would help keep you sane at work, and who would make every day a living nightmare? I decided to rank them all, from the worst-possible coworker to the best. Here are my conclusions.
15.Tony Stark (Iron Man)
In terms of innovation, you can’t do much better than the genius who was casually able to figure out time travel while hanging out at home. Give Tony Stark a task and chances are he’ll come back to you with a better version of what you asked for three days before the deadline you gave him. He’s also a pretty fun dude who is supplied with a seemingly endless supply of quippy one-liners and nicknames. But while his talent is undeniable, it’s equally impossible to ignore the fact that Tony is an arrogant jerk who hates sharing credit with anyone. In fact, he really hates working with people in general, preferring to work with Jarvis, his AI computer program. Plus, he always wants everyone to know that he is the smartest guy in the room, even if it means hurting the bottom line. These are all major red flags that point to him being a terrible coworker.
Most accurate representation of Tony as a coworker: Iron Man
14.Nick Fury
On the one hand, Nick Fury thrives at planning ahead. He is always prepared for whatever is thrown in his way, including literally being snapped out of existence at the end of Infinity War. He’s also the mastermind behind the entire Avengers initiative, proving his skills as both a leader and a motivator. All of this might seem like the blueprint for your ideal coworker, but it’s hard to overlook Nick's one fatal flaw: He does not completely trust anyone. He has faked his own death, had aliens impersonate him while he’s doing whatever he’s doing in space, and makes a habit of withholding key information from people who are on the same side as him. Not exactly the type of guy you’d be able to rely on when it comes to workplace survival.
Most accurate representation of Nick as a coworker: Captain America: The Winter Soldier
13.Wanda Maximoff (Scarlet Witch)
Wanda Maximoff has a lot going for her in terms of being the ideal officemate. She is smart and passionate and cares deeply for the people in her life. And we learned in WandaVision that she's the only TV aficionado in the Avengers, which means she’s probably going to be the perfect coworker to discuss the latest episode of Mare of Easttown in the break room or on Slack. However, if she ends up facing a tight deadline or feeling like she might face some layoffs, she could wind up brainwashing the entire office in order to process her inner turmoil, which is, obviously, less than ideal. But she seems to be working out some of her issues at her ongoing cabin retreat, which would then shoot her back up the rankings.
Most accurate representation of Wanda as a coworker: WandaVision
12.Vision
In terms of pure efficiency, nobody matches Vision. As a supercomputer come to life, he doesn’t need to eat or sleep or seemingly even breathe, meaning that he can constantly be getting work done without wasting time with all those pesky distractions that we humans have to deal with every day. But even by the time WandaVision rolls around, Vision is still figuring out what it actually means to be a conscious being, and while I obviously support him in that complex philosophical journey, it might get slightly annoying to hear him experience his weekly existential crisis. I mean, do you really want to have to discuss the Ship of Theseus while you’re just trying to enjoy your morning cup of coffee?
Most accurate representation of Vision as a coworker: WandaVision
11.Clint Barton (Hawkeye)
Clint Barton's biggest asset is his drive, since he has never let his lack of talent keep him from accomplishing his goals. After all, with nothing more than a high-powered bow and arrow and a dream, he managed to earn a spot in a crew that includes a literal god and at least one alien. And despite his accomplishments, he remains a perfectly nice guy who seems to understand the difference between taking his work seriously and taking himself too seriously. He also does a phenomenal job setting clear boundaries between his work life and home life, as nobody except Natasha Romanoff even knew about his secret family. There's nothing really wrong with Clint, he's just nobody's favorite coworker/Avenger, and kind of seems like a guy who would spend way too long at your desk droning on about how excited he is to go to a local brewery this weekend. Slightly unfair? Maybe. But we're on the search for the best coworker, not the most adequate coworker.
Most accurate representation of Clint as a coworker: Avengers: Age of Ultron
10.James "Rhodey" Rhodes (War Machine)
The Avengers' everyman is clearly a top-tier coworker because he is the ultimate team player. (And yes, I obviously hate myself for using the term "team player" in this context. What's next? "Synergy"?!) Rhodey cares more about getting the job done than receiving credit, making him the perfect guy to have by your side when you are facing a major deadline. He's also managed to remain friends with Tony all of these years, which shows that he can handle all of the fragile egomaniacs at work who think every half-baked idea they have is a gift from God. His only real flaw is that he is a bit of a company man, as evidenced by him handing over Tony's prototype armor to the Air Force. So you probably want to steer clear of him if you need to vent about how your boss is a total moron. Rather than agree with everything you're saying, Rhodey will try to give a nuanced defense of your boss, which everyone knows is a clear violation of coworker protocol.
Most accurate representation of Rhodey as a coworker: Iron Man 2
9.Thor
The boss’s son is almost always the worst, and Thor started out as the poster boy for everything wrong with nepotism: He was arrogant, entitled, and brash and believed that everyone around him was blessed by his presence. But after getting banished to Earth and proving himself worthy, Thor really turned things around and embodies a ton of the qualities of a great coworker: He cares about doing good work more than looking good, believes in giving people second chances, and yeah, he’s still got a bit of an ego, but it’s mostly harmless at this point. Just make sure he doesn’t get Loki a job because Thor will continue to cover up for his screw-up brother even when he is putting staplers in jello and impersonating his office rival to get them fired.
Most accurate representation of Thor as a coworker: Thor: Ragnarok
8.Steve Rogers (Captain America)
Seems like the obvious pick, right? Steve Rogers was chosen to be Captain America after proving himself to be hardworking and loyal to a fault. If the boss ever needs one of you to stay late to finish up a project, you can pretty much guarantee that Steve will happily volunteer. You never have to worry about him playing office politics or stabbing you in the back just to get ahead. Steve is pretty close to the perfect coworker, except for one major weakness: He’s honestly too perfect. He would never be willing to sneak out of work a little bit early or take some office snacks home. And ultimately, Steve’s unceasing decency would end up making everyone else in the office look bad, causing him to be unfairly resented by you and the rest of his coworkers.
Most accurate representation of Steve as a coworker: Captain America: The First Avenger
7.Carol Danvers (Captain Marvel)
Arguably the most powerful member of the Avengers, Carol Danvers is, in many ways, the ideal worker. She is intelligent without being cocky and hardworking without being a workaholic. She also is an expert at wading through all of the passive-aggressive politics and pettiness you will encounter at work, as she was able to escape the brainwashing and gaslighting she was subjected to by Yon-Rogg (Jude Law) during her time with StarForce. The only real knock on Carol is that she is a bit of a lone wolf type, meaning that she is probably not looking to make any work pals. There's no doubt Carol would be a great coworker in terms of doing actual work, but don't expect her to show up to any after-work happy hours. That's just not her style.
Most accurate representation of Carol as a coworker: Captain Marvel
6.Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
It could be argued that Peter Parker should be automatically disqualified based on the simple fact that he is still in high school, but I'm going to allow him to remain because of that big, brilliant brain inside his 16-year-old head. And his youth notwithstanding, Peter has a lot of the qualities that make a great coworker. As previously mentioned, he is extremely smart but is also kindhearted and always does what he believes is right. But he's not an insufferable goody two-shoes, as he's proved himself a bit of a wisecracking troublemaker, like when he ditches school to help Tony try to stop Captain America and his rogue crew. And most importantly, Peter lives and dies by the "Great power equals great responsibility" mantra, meaning that he will always do whatever he can to protect others. So when you accidentally "reply all" a snarky comment to a companywide email or get caught showing up to work 45 minutes late, you know your friendly office Spider-Man has your back.
Most accurate representation of Peter as a coworker: Captain America: Civil War
5.Sam Wilson (the Falcon)
Sam Wilson is a go-getter who works his way up from Steve's jogging partner to the next Captain America, but he's not consumed with ambition like a few of the other people on this list. If you end up together on a project, you know you can count on him to get his work done without worrying about him trying to steal all the credit. He's also one of the most empathetic members of the Avengers, even helping Bucky Barnes deal with his trauma. So if you are having an off day, you know he'll be happy to listen as you rant about how many unnecessary meetings you're forced to go to on a weekly basis.
Most accurate representation of Sam as a coworker: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier
4.Scott Lang (Ant-Man)
Is Scott Lang the smartest or hardest-working guy in the office? No. But what he lacks in intellect and work ethic he makes up for by being a phenomenal hang. He would be the ideal work best friend to help you survive the endless drudgery that comes with office life, as he would be firing off hilarious one-liners during boring meetings and sneaking out with you to enjoy a well-deserved, extra-long lunch. Plus, his willingness to hop in a van to help Captain America at the drop of a hat shows his loyalty. Scott’s criminal background also makes him an asset in terms of being a quality coworker because it shows that he isn’t above breaking a few rules in order to get the job done.
Most accurate representation of Scott as a coworker: Ant-Man
3.Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow)
Natasha Romanoff definitely has some trust issues, so she's probably not going to open up to you about how stressed she is about that big meeting she has this week. And she definitely won't be the coworker who brings donuts for the whole office. But she is the person you know you can count on if you need something done, no questions asked. And while you don't want everyone at work to have her "by any means necessary" mentality, you definitely want at least one coworker to have it, which is why she's been a member of the Avengers since the original team-up. With her background in international espionage, she will always be up-to-date on everything going on around the office and will be one step ahead of anyone foolish enough to try to cross her. And while Natasha keeps things close to the chest, she is loyal, so you don't have to worry about her stabbing you in the back to get a promotion.
Most accurate representation of Natasha as a coworker: The Avengers
2.T'Challa (Black Panther)
T'Challa's experience as a Wakandan monarch has prepared him well for office life. He's proved that he works well with others, knows how to mediate conflict, and is an outstanding problem-solver. In fact, working with him could prove to be slightly intimidating because of how overqualified he is. Seriously, how many people can beat "king of Wakanda" on their résumé? He could probably benefit from lightening up a little bit and allowing himself to have some fun. But really, I'm just nitpicking for nitpicking's sake, and at the end of the day, T'Challa would be the type of guy who remembers everyone's birthday while also closing major deals on a daily basis.
Most accurate representation of T'Challa as a coworker: Black Panther
1.Bruce Banner (Hulk)
Before Endgame, Bruce Banner would have been maybe the worst choice because a bad case of the Mondays could transform him into a raging green monster (not to mention, Hulk’s shorts-only wardrobe is definitely not office appropriate). But his workplace qualifications were massively upgraded once he became Dr. Hulk. Suddenly you got the best of both worlds, with all of Bruce’s brilliance in the Hulk’s musclebound frame. In fact, Dr. Hulk really is the perfect coworker. He is a confirmed genius but without all of the ego that you get from guys like Tony and Doctor Strange. He's also worked through his previous anger issues to become a more evolved and healthy version of himself with an appreciation for how far he's come. He even has an adorable pair of glasses and a cardigan to let you know that he now fully adheres to proper workplace etiquette. The only real issue is that he might accidentally break his desk and chair, but once you get that taken care of, who wouldn't want to work with this guy?
Most accurate representation of Bruce as a coworker: Avengers: Endgame
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