Rachel Bloom Gets Real About Red Carpet Fashion
“I bet you woke up like this.” That comment was all it took for comedian Rachel Bloom to pull back the curtain on the world of celebrity fashion in a new sketch from TruTV’s Adam Ruins Everything.
With a snap of her fingers, the Golden Globe-winning creator and star of CW’s “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” — who’s all dolled up in a red gown and chic updo — reveals what she actually looked like when she woke up that morning: like the rest of us, completely makeup-free in tousled hair and baggy pajamas.
“Most of the time, we look schlubbier than the crowd at a Dave Matthews concert,” she tells the show’s star, Adam Conover, and his sidekick, of stars who strut the red carpet looking flawless. “But anybody would look fantastic if they had a pit crew of hair and makeup experts ‘Frankensteining’ them for six hours.”
Bloom goes on to instruct the pair on exactly what it takes to look perfectly camera-ready, and why paparazzi shots and awards show appearances are about more than just looking stellar. She points out her stylist — who’s casually strolling by while working a blow dryer — then homes in on her stylist and clothing designers marketing teams, who work in tandem to transform her into a living, breathing advertisement.
“My stylist tells me what to wear, and then the designers marketing team says yes or no depending on whether or not they think I’ll sell the product,” she says matter of factly. And while it is a matter of fact that celebrity and fashion operate this way, it’s rare that a star comes right out and says it — and refreshing when one does.
Bloom first addressed the smoke-and-mirrors world of red carpet-ready looks when she wrote a song about her Spanx and posted a video of herself wrapped up in shapewear, on the night she would go on to win her Golden Globe. She performs a silly little ditty, “It’s the Sexy Golden Globey Song,” ending with “I can’t breathe.”
Kim Kardashian admitted last year that she’ll sometimes wear two pairs of Spanx at once just to make sure everything is sufficiently sucked in. Modern Family star Julie Bowen took it a step further, saying, “Naked isn’t going to happen [onscreen], because it’s not cute. I’ve got three kids. I wear Spanx in the shower,” she said to The Wrap. Even Bowen’s onscreen daughter, Sarah Hyland, admitted to InStyle that she squeezes into shapewear for public appearances. And who can forget Tina Fey stripping down to her Spanx on a final Late Night with David Letterman appearance?
Actress Portia Doubleday also revealed the truth about her Golden Globes beauty routine to InStyle: Like Bloom, she just does what her stylist tells her to do. “What lies beneath [my dress] is a lot of suction,” she told the publication on the red carpet. “I have a lot of tulle in here. I don’t know, though. I closed my eyes and my stylist put it on me.”
A feature in Vanity Fair in 2014 put a spotlight on the symbiotic relationship between celebrities and sales, with stylists being the brokers of these high-stakes deals. Vanity Fair equated the stars to free billboards, with top stylist Leslie Fremar — who dresses Scarlett Johansson and Reese Witherspoon, among others — saying, “I’ve been doing this for 10 years, and it’s become relevant as a business during that time. A big business.”
Fremar goes on to describe this well-oiled machine to Vanity Fair, claiming she receives sketches from top designers looking to dress a client for the Oscars — the ultimate red-carpet fashion moment. She will pick one, setting off a process in which the couture gown will be then made for the celebrity and delivered to her stylist. If the actress wins an Oscar, she gets to keep the dress; otherwise, it goes back to the designer, where the custom gown is saved for posterity. The designer can only hope the high-profile exposure will help boost sales.
In the Adam Ruins Everything video, Bloom explains that one of the harsh realities of planning a red-carpet outfit is that some designers will refuse to dress a celebrity “if that person doesn’t fit their brand or has the wrong body type.” Stars like Leslie Jones and Melissa McCarthy have been very vocal about encountering this discrimination because of their plus-size figures.
“That’s not style. That’s not fashion!” one of the video’s stars proclaims. “No. It’s advertising,” Conover succinctly responds. “Because when Mark McGrath asks, ‘Who are you wearing?,’ all of America will hear that brand’s name.”
Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest for nonstop inspiration delivered fresh to your feed, every day.
