How to Propose to a Clairvoyant Princess
- Oops!Something went wrong.Please try again later.
- Oops!Something went wrong.Please try again later.
Turns out surprising a woman with clairvoyant powers is no easy task, even for a sixth-generation shaman. So when Durek Verrett, 47, decided to propose to Princess Märtha Louise of Norway, 50, the eldest child of King Harald V and Queen Sonja, and fourth in line to the throne, he had to change course. Multiple times.
“Every time he planned something, I saw what he was up to,” Märtha says. “She has psychic abilities,” says Verrett, who is professionally known as Shaman Durek. “We both have spiritual powers. If I have one single thought, she gets it immediately. I had to think of five different experiences I would create for her.”
The couple sat down with Town & Country via video call from California to catch up on their engagement, what it means for him to be the first Black man in Norway’s royal family, how he has developed a relationship with her three children, and their plans together. Verrett, who was born in California, was already well known in the wellness community for his healing work (an hourlong private session with him costs $1,500, though he can be more easily found espousing wisdom on Instagram @shamandurek) and his friendship with Gwyneth Paltrow. But Märtha and Verrett’s relationship, which began after they were introduced by a mutual friend, energy healer Millana Snow, has put them on a global stage. They both speak of a connection to the spirit world that can help them empower people to heal themselves, or, in Verrett’s words “be your own damn guru.” They are passionate about working together to help couples communicate and evolve, because, as Märtha puts it, “we have a very deep way of being with each other.”
Back to the engagement: It took place under an oak tree at a friend’s horse farm in San Juan Capistrano, California. It was private; the only onlookers were horses poking their heads out of the stables. “It was really beautiful, like a blessing from the horses,” says Märtha, who was on the Norwegian national team for show jumping and runs Hest360, a multimedia channel about horses in Norway.
The proposal concepts that didn’t quite make it to the finish line included a Star Wars–themed engagement planned to take place at Disneyland, arranged with the help of Durek’s friend Holly Madison, of Playboy fame. He says, “I wanted to have all the princesses come out and make it really big. I got off the phone with Holly, and [Märtha] calls me right after and she’s like, ‘Honey, I was meditating today and talking to my spirit guides, and I just want to ask you a question. You’re not thinking of proposing to me at Disneyland, are you?’ I’m like, ‘Absolutely not. Who would ever think of such a thing? That would be ridiculous.’ And she goes, ‘Oh my God, you were going to propose to me at Disneyland. You cannot do that. Do you know what the whole royal family will think if you propose to me at Disneyland?’ As much as it’s a cute idea, it’s not”—here he makes air quotes and smiles—“royal-worthy.”
Other proposals set for Lake Tahoe and a yacht in Turkey were thwarted by Märtha’s antenna, but the horse-attended betrothal proved meaningful and idyllic. “It was a perfect commemoration to our love for horses and our love for each other,” he adds.
As Märtha shows off her ring, a pale green Brazilian emerald and diamond piece designed with Joy Sangalang Smith of Communion by Joy, she is giddy and proud. It is filled with symbolism: a nod to her mother’s beloved emeralds, and four pyramid diamonds to symbolize earth, air, fire, and water. “I built it upon a Viking shield, which is for protection,” Verrett says. “On the sides, three diamonds represent her three daughters, and below it is the Viking knot, which represents eternal love.”
The hewing to tradition did not begin with the proposal. He describes their relationship as an old-fashioned courtship, owing in part to long distance, with him in California and her in Norway. He says he was insistent on building a foundation of friendship and shared intellectual pursuits. “It’s not just based on intimacy, because I don’t believe that intimacy holds a relationship together,” Verrett says. “I believe what holds a relationship together is friendship and our connection to learning and growing with each other.” During the pandemic the pair wrote poetry to each other in a shared book and sent it back and forth from the United States to Europe. And when he started designing her engagement ring, less than two years into their relationship, he also asked the king and queen for her hand in marriage, a moment he calls both “nerve-racking” and “very loving.” “The queen asked me of my prospects and how I would be able to take care of her and the kids and so forth,” he recalls. “There was a moment of silence. And I think that was the part that scared me the most. But they said yes.” Märtha interjects that she has been earning her own money for 20 years, but Verrett admits that he’s traditional, and her family’s approval, not just of her parents but of her children, was essential. “They’re ride-or-die,” Verrett says of Märtha’s three daughters. “They’re my sunshine, my light, my everything.”
Märtha’s teenage daughters (Maud Angelica, 19, Leah Isadora, 17, and Emma Tallulah, 13) are each already pursuing their passions. Maud is an artist and writer who has become a mental health advocate following their father’s suicide in December 2019. (The girls’ father, Ari Behn, was a writer whose marriage into the royal family led Märtha to forsake her HRH title and financial dependence 20 years ago. They divorced in 2017.) Leah is a TikTok and Instagram beauty influencer and model, and Emma is a competitive equestrian. “I think it’s so important in life to help unravel who they actually are, instead of having an idea of how they’re supposed to be,” says Märtha. “It’s like opening a flower petal by petal. It’s such a beautiful thing to be part of, to support their true selves coming out into the world and making their own way in it.”
Since announcing their couplehood (Märtha famously called Verrett her “twin flame” in May 2019), they say their relationship has been met overwhelming love and support by those close to them. (Verrett calls his soon to be royal relatives “a breath of fresh air.”). But they have also met some skepticism for their unconventional careers and received hateful, racially targeted messages online. They say they are both aware of the fact that as the first Black man to be a part of the European royal family, Verrett is in entirely new territory. In an Instagram Live after the engagement announcement, he said people didn’t want to see a “real-life Bridgerton.” The couple have a philosophical way of processing the negativity: “It’s a bit challenging for people to see something new, to evolve past their comfort zones. We try to understand where people are and find ways to bring about more education so people can start to see things differently and be comfortable with change,” Verrett says. “It requires a lot of compassion. It requires a lot of love, a lot of patience. Märtha once said something really beautiful: ‘Just because people have their judgments and their beliefs, that just shows where they’re at in their capacity for love. It doesn’t mean we should change our capacity for love because we see differently.”
To hear him tell it, the royals have been open-minded and curious about what he does as a shaman, and have made him feel accepted. This past June the pair celebrated Märtha’s niece Princess Ingrid Alexandra’s 18th birthday at the royal palace in Oslo. Märtha helped walk Verrett through the procession and protocols, which she admits can be overwhelming, but she says the fact that you’re with family helps, even if they are kings and queens. “We’re all cousins and we’re quite close. Luckily, the parent generation wanted us all to get to know each other because, you know, we’re colleagues in that way. And we have a lot of similar challenges with press and how to deal with things. So it’s easier to present Durek, because it’s very friendly.” He adds that his skill as a ballroom dancer who is “fabulous at waltzing” helped tremendously.
When Verrett saw his name included on the podium for a family portrait, he thought of his parents: his father, who was of Haitian descent, and had taught him about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Marcus Garvey; and his mother, who is of Indian and Norwegian descent, and had predicted this moment would come. “She told me when I was 14 years old that I was going to be married to the princess of Norway and that I was going to be a part of the royal family,” he says. “I just blocked it out and didn’t pay attention.” That day it all came flooding back, along with the significance of the moment. “My name was there, and I saw all of my black leaders and black women who have fought for social justice—Dr. Martin Luther King, Sister Rosa Parks, Oprah—everybody who has had to make a space for themself to be seen and heard, smile at me. I got so emotional and I smiled like this little boy who said, ‘I belong here.’”
For now the couple are not deep into wedding planning, but they are collaborating on projects separately and together. Märtha continues to run the horse channel Hest360. She also has a knit clothing line, Hést, with two friends, and she wants to continue doing “spiritual teachings for highly sensitive people.” Verrett says he’s working on moving shamanism into television, building spiritually conscious NFTs, and selling something called a Spirit Optimizer on his website, which he says creates a magnetic energetic field that helps people connect with their own power.
Together they want to help couples strengthen their relationships, building on earlier workshops they’ve held together. “We want to share some of the things that we have discovered are good for us and that maybe can help other people,” Märtha says.
“We’re not here to fix each other. We’re not here to control each other,” says Verrett. “We both are independent people in our own right, and we both are very intellectual. I love the wisdom that comes from her. She loves the wisdom that comes to me.”
You Might Also Like
