21 Times People Rose Up From The Darkness And Pushed Themselves To Live Their Best Lives
Recently, Reddit user u/NikonDexter posed an important question: "During a very dark period, what was the best thing you ever did for your mental health?"
The stories people shared were truly inspiring, as were the strategies they used to gain a healthier mentality. So, here are some of the best ways people took care of their mental health:
Note: These methods and strategies aren't universal to everyone's mental health — every individual's experience is different, so only try what you believe is best for you.
Warning: Some stories include topics of depression, drug and substance abuse, and suicide. Please proceed with caution.
1."I got outside as much as possible. I opened all blinds and curtains during the day — and rather than watching a TV show or movie, I tried to work out or do something physical. I also did puzzles (regular puzzles, crosswords, etc.) to keep my mind active."
2."I deleted all of my social media. I graduated high school right as COVID began — most of my friends left to go to college (which is 'normal'), but my college was entirely online. So, I didn't physically go to college to make new friends. I was taking very hard computer science and math classes as well, and ended up failing them. Then, I deleted almost all of my social media (I hadn't discovered Reddit at the time), and I basked in the glory of not concerning myself with others. It's really hard to explain how beneficial this is, and it's not something you'd thoroughly understand unless you've experienced something like it."
3."I stopped shaming myself for having a hard time (it's easier said than done for sure, but it turned out that guilt and shame were terrible motivators for me). Instead, I tried to focus on caring for myself — instead of saying: 'Wow, I'm such a failure because I haven't brushed my teeth since Friday,' I said: 'I deserve to have clean teeth. I'm going to give myself the gift of clean teeth and enjoy that feeling.'"
"Also, whatever it takes to make those tasks easier is totally allowed (taking a shower while sitting down, brushing your teeth while sitting on the couch and watching a movie — those kinds of things). If doing the dishes is just way too overwhelming, just do the bowl and spoon you need to eat soup for dinner.
You deserve to eat, wear clean clothes, and have a space that's comfortable to you. But, you aren't a failure if you are having a hard time getting yourself those things — be gentle with yourself ❤️."
4."I made my bed every day (it's a new habit I learned when I was in a very low point in my life). That one new habit helped provide some stability and structure in a pretty shitty time — it helped my mental health quite a bit."
"Yes 👏. I started this habit as the one thing to hold myself accountable for when I was at my darkest point. It was my first tiny step in a better direction, and I still have the habit to this day. It's the biggest, smallest achievement."
"I had a college professor always tell our class to make our bed every day when we got up. That way, we could feel like we accomplished at least one thing that day, then build from that."
5."I quit my job. My boss was on vacation at home, and I stopped by to let him know I was leaving work in a week. I took a free week between the next job, and took a few days to drive to Big Bend for camping and hiking alone. It was the best feeling, just feeling free. I met some people on the trail who asked what I did, and I responded with: 'Nothing! I just quit my job!'"
"I had a job I loved for seven years, and then in seven weeks, it turned into hell because we got a new manager. Old saying: 'People don't quit jobs — they quit managers.' Well, after seven weeks of mentally and physically declining, I woke up one morning and said: 'That's it. I'm done.' I went in to talk to the supervisor because she wasn't the problem, and told her how I was feeling. She didn't even ask me why I was quitting because she knew what the reason was — I didn't even give notice."
6."When I was at my lowest point at around 16 years old, my mom took me to a local shelter to adopt a cat. I was medicated and in therapy, but nothing seemed to help. I picked the cat who was hiding in the corner by herself, clearly miserable, and we went on to have 13 beautiful years together. Caring for something made me want to care for myself, too — it was the best gift I've ever received."
"I had a similar experience. During 2020, I agreed to look after a student's cat for a year without knowing it wasn't spayed (this was in a country where spaying/neutering is less common). She got out, got pregnant, and had kittens. Those kittens very well may have saved my life. I ended up keeping one of those kittens, and she's traveled across the world with me — I love her very much."
7."I had always heard motorcycling was this panacea for mental health, but I didn't put much stock into it (I knew it was good, but I'd just split from my fiancé, lost my home, and was back in my parents' spare room — there was no Band-Aid big enough to fix my problem). My dad let me have a little run around a back road on his motorcycle, and it was a religious experience. When I was growing up, my dad had a lot of bikes, but I made a promise to my former fiancé I wouldn't ride one because we were trying to start a family. It was at the point when I was unable to live in the shadow of my grief that I thought: 'Why not try it?' After all, I had nothing to lose."
"On warm, sunny days, I'd point my bike toward the middle of nowhere and just ride. Your mind goes blank, you feel like the main character in your story, you feel the wind as it washes all the warm smells of forest and fields over you. From the time you mount up to the time you get off, everything is okay, and no bad thoughts can reach you."
8."I reached out to new people and eventually found a new and rewarding friend group. This was following a pretty nasty breakup, so I think connecting with people in a healthy way really helped reestablish my ability to trust others."
"I had a similar thing happen to me after a long-term relationship ended. I told my friends I wouldn't be up for talking or having fun because I'd be sad most of the time — but that I didn't want to be alone. I was lucky, and they let me just exist in the same space as them whenever we hung out."
9."I 'Marie Kondo-ed' the people in my life — I realized I'd been putting a lot of effort into maintaining relationships that were not bringing me joy. I'd been grasping at straws trying to save my marriage, sobbing over a best friend who was pulling away but refused to let me pull away in return, and was stuck in several relationships that were once amazing and ideal, but were now major stressors in my life. Loyalty has always been a big deal in my life, and I was feeling guilty at the thought of abandoning relationships that had been so good to me. It was so hard and so exhausting, but now that I'm nearly on the other side, I've been SIGNIFICANTLY healthier mentally (and quite a bit happier). I still mourn the loss of those relationships, but in exchange, I've gained peace of mind."
10."If I'm having a bad day, I try to make my dog's day extra special. Whether it's a car ride, a walk in a new environment, taking her somewhere to swim, having lunch, or giving her a nice, warm bath. My mood usually instantly improves as soon as we get into the car, and only gets better as we go through her special day. It's a win-win."
11."I cooked all of my own meals from Whole Foods — it forced me to leave the house every day to get ingredients. That gave me more energy to clean up more often, shower daily, and brush my teeth. I started working out after the gyms re-opened post-COVID, which gave me more energy and a bit of pride for sticking to something non-drug/alcohol related in two very rough years. I made sleep a priority, and eventually sobriety (since I was losing progress on my physical health goals from drug and substance abuse). But most importantly, I told myself that the first month of sobriety was going to be miserable, and that was fine because I was working my ass off to get better, and it would come in time — and it did."
12."I went on a weekend retreat all by myself. I reset my biological clock, ate when I was hungry, slept when I was tired, showered as long as I wanted to, pleasured myself, painted my nails, did art, took a hike, and just breathed."
"You should definitely get away — you have to reset. And when you return, journaling can be therapeutic. It helped me ease back to reality after a life-changing traumatic situation. I think because it's such a horrific experience you don't have anybody who could relate to you, so you can't talk about it — but at least you can write it down."
13."I threw my television away. We had this boxy old television in the bedroom, and I would spend soooo much time in my bed watching it. I needed that to change if I'd ever start feeling better, so I packed it up and tried to donate it, only for the place to say they wouldn't take it (it was too outdated). So, I drove to my old apartment complex and tossed it in a dumpster. Therapy and meds have worked wonders as well, but this was a big one for me."
14."After there were a few deaths in my family and I got a divorce, I was in a rough place. I started doing the 'Year of Yes,' and it was the best decision ever. I put it out there that if anyone had something they wanted to do but didn't want to do it alone, I was their guy! If I didn't have something else going on or a REALLY good reason not to, I had to say yes. Try a new restaurant? I'm in! Go see a weird show? Let's do it! Go hiking at a new spot? Why not!"
"The best was when my buddy called when I was driving home from work. It went like this:
Him: 'Hey! That girl I was seeing from Tinder canceled on me — want to go to see the Lonely Island with me?'Me: 'Yeah, sure. When is it?'Him: '6 p.m.'Me: 'Oh, cool — it's 5 p.m. now. Where are they playing?'Him: 'The Anthem' (a venue 1 hour away)
I pulled a U-turn and drove straight there — it ended up being the best concert I've ever been to!"
15."I consider myself lucky. I was in a very dark place pre-COVID in terms of my mental health and school. I had depression, low self-esteem, suicidal thoughts, and drug and alcohol abuse. But, because of COVID, I dropped out to pursue what I REALLY wanted. I was also forced to meditate on my personal problems given the lack of social stimuli. Life will always have its issues regardless of where you're at, but climbing up the mountain of happiness sure does make living worth it."
16."I regularly started exercising. The gym became my safe place where I could turn off my destructive thoughts for a bit — making exercising a habit greatly boosted my sense of self-worth."
"I walk by a creek in the woods almost every day — it's a great reboot every morning (I'm really sorry you're struggling, and I hope you will find relief in this endeavor)."
"Establishing a gym schedule helped me feel like I had some control over both my time and my own body — and it gave me an obligation that forced me to get up and do something."
17."I think the best thing that I ever did for my mental health during a dark time was reaching out to people I cared about, and talking to them about what I was going through. I think that it's so important to talk to people when you're going through a tough time, and I think that talking to people can help you feel less alone. It's something that can really help."
18."I started writing everything down — whatever I was saying, doing, feeling, and anything I thought was affecting my mental health (I made 60 entries in 3 days). Every now and again, I'd read through them and try to find some sort of story line and connect the dots to see why I was in a dark place. Once I identified a problem, I'd spend the next few days solving it. I'm still recovering now, so I still write in my journal every day, and it makes me feel loads better. It's also good to share your problems with those closest to you, people you know will listen and who care about you. It's important to know you aren't alone, and to have the optimism that things will get better if you try to make them better."
19."After spending weeks in my dark room, I decided to drive around and ended up at a park — I sat on a bench and was just there. I scrolled through my phone, then closed my eyes and let the sun warm my face. Now, whenever I'm getting gloomy, I go outside and soak up the sun like a neglected house plant for 10-15 minutes. It boosts my mood and lets me think about what my next action will be once I'm done."
20."Accept that changing the circumstances will be intentional and won't just happen. You should try to carve out a plan to change the things you want to change and take baby steps — each little step is a win. I always thought of it like a steam locomotive: It's a slow start, but then you maintain direction. Keep moving forward, and enjoy the little wins along the way — you can't fail until you quit (until then, you're just in the process of making it happen)."
21.And finally: "Share one beautiful thing a day with a friend, coworker, or family member. It helps you to focus on the good things — it can be something as simple as seeing a pretty bird, taking a first bite of a good sandwich, listening to a song that hits just right, or having a random memory that pops up. It doesn't matter — as long as it's good. Share it with them, and let them share theirs with you — make it an everyday habit."
Note: Some posts have been edited for length and/or clarity.
