These 16 Wedding And Shower Demands Show That Entitlement Knows No Bounds
I've been to my fair share of weddings and parties, but I have never, in my life, seen people as entitled as the people in this Quora thread. Truly my jaw is on the floor.
1."A male friend of ours was getting married and had asked my husband to be in the wedding party. He said yes. We had met his fiancée, Rachel, a handful of times, but never got to know her on a personal level. Because of that, Rachel had suggested a get-together at her house prior to the wedding so that all the people who would be in the wedding could get to know one another. Makes sense. A week later, I got an invitation in the mail for the party, as well as a note stating: 'You are responsible for bringing 10 bottles of soda (must be name brand), home-made brownies for 25 people, and five bags of chips (must be name brand). Each person can bring food to put on the grill but limited to a hamburger for each, or two hotdogs each, with a small piece of chicken. The rolls for these items have been assigned to Luanne, as well as all condiments (must be name brand).' My eyes! I had to read it ten times to believe it was real! Bring our own food to fit on the grill?"
2."I was chosen as a bridesmaid for one of my friends. However, the bridesmaid dress that she chose was way too expensive (I was a student in University and money was tight). In addition to that, I had to pay for the package of skin and hair treatment prior the wedding day at the spa that she chose. And on the wedding day itself, I also had to pay for the hairstylist and the make-up person that she ‘provided’ for us bridesmaids. Those things are seriously expensive! And she didn’t allow us to do the hair and makeup ourselves as she was afraid that we won’t look good in a pictures. Also, she explicitly said that she expected us bridesmaids to gift her something from the list of the wedding registry that she had prepared and that stuff was waayyy beyond my means . So nope...sorry girl, not gonna do that."
3."My sister-in-law (now my husband's brother's ex-wife), text me one night in the middle of our wedding planning (and by in the middle, I mean deposits for everything had been paid and invitations were being made), and she asked, 'Is your wedding date set in stone already?'”
"(This is a gist of how the conversation went)
Me: 'Yes it is.'
Her: 'Well, like have you already paid deposits? You haven't sent out invitations yet right?'
Me: 'For the most part we have, we just need to talk with *insert pastor's name*'
Her: 'Do you think you could change the date to another weekend? The 25th doesn't work for me.'
I literally had to read it over and over again. I read it out loud to my (now) husband. Had she really just asked us to change OUR WEDDING DAY because it didn't work for HER?! I don't know why I was surprised, she was and still is all about her.
Her: 'My friend is thinking about getting married that day and I want to attend both.'
So her friend's hypotheical wedding is reason for us to change ours? Yea, no.
Me: 'Sorry but we picked that day and things are already paid for.” And that was that. I think she text me again but I don't remember what she might have said. Oh, and that friend she mentioned, still isn't married.'
4."There was a company-wide email sent from one of the ladies in the office. I knew her but rarely spoke with her as she was in a different division and her work was completely unrelated to mine."
"The below is not word for word but is basically the same drift.
While on vacation in Las Vegas last week, (some guy nobody knew) and I got married. As no one knew about the wedding you were not able to attend or send a wedding gift so we set up a web site with a link to our registry. (A list suggesting specific items was included) If you would prefer to send a cash gift a link to enter your credit card information is also included. We are going to have a honeymoon in Vegas in a few weeks so we would also like donations for money to gamble with. Thank you very much, (new couples names)
I never heard any discussion whatsoever about the email. I am assuming it went nowhere."
—Jim
5."A few weeks before the big day, I ask her what gift she wanted and she said: 'Well, it is tradition here that the witness of the bride and the witness of the groom buy the wedding rings.' (I later found out that this is not tradition at all!) So, I asked what she wanted me to do next and she said, 'You will need to come to the jewelry shop so we can choose our rings and you pay for mine, while the other witness will pay for the other.' Remember, I was broke but I was willing to fly back a few days after the move to attend the wedding and make her happy. When I asked her how much the budget was, she said she wasn’t sure, but around 350 euros, maybe more. I said I could not afford it and she said, 'OK, no problem, but you can’t be my witness anymore as it’s tradition! Another friend of mine agreed to buy me the ring and she will be my witness. But you can still come to the wedding.'"
"Needless to say, I didn’t attend the wedding and haven’t spoken to her over the past five years. We grew up together and I thought we were best friends, she treated me and made me feel so small and insignificant."
6."My former mother-in-law, a very sweet, prim and oh so proper lady who rarely had an unkind word for anyone, received a wedding invitation from one of the children of her very long time next door neighbor. The invitation described a remote hill top wedding venue overlooking the Pacific (pretty much all family and friends lived in Detroit), at some strange hour that I don’t remember. This was to be followed by a somewhat challenging hike to a remote camp of some sort for the reception. At the end of the invitation they included the following, (paraphrasing) 'Since we know that most of you will not be able to attend, we request that you give us cash to help pay for our dream honeymoon in…' an expensive island somewhere. My MIL was flabbergasted to say the least. I was there when she read the invitation and heard more than a few 'Oh my’s' as she reread it to make sure she actually understood what they were asking."
"The reaction of her children and others present was what you might expect, but she didn't say anything more, tucked the invitation away and went about her business. A couple of months later, I asked her what she had decided to do about the invitation. She said she sent them a very nice set of custom monogrammed bath towels (no returning those) and smiled sweetly with a slightly evil glimmer in her eyes."
7."I guess this is not ‘unreasonable’ but it was pretty arrogant. I attended a baby shower for the daughter of a close friend. The word went out ahead of time that any cards given should be ‘current in style’ and not the old-fashioned mushy baby cards that seemed like they came from the 1950s. Yeah. Additionally, the expectant mother lived in California but the shower was at the mom’s house in Atlanta. So, the instructions were that all gifts should be shipped directly to the California address, and a print-out of the gift included with the card. Sigh. OK. This was the daughter of a close friend, so I ordered and shipped a very nice gift. I forgot to get a card until the evening before the shower. I looked in my stash of pre-purchased cards, and — oh, dear. The only card I had on hand was pink and mushy with a little baby being carried by a stork. Good enough."
"Not going out at 10 p.m. to buy another one. I printed out the picture of the generous gift and placed it inside the card. When the expectant mother opened my card, you could see her body language change. She stiffened up and looked displeased. The dumb card was more important to her than the gift."
8."A few years ago, I received a very pretty invite to an acquaintance’s wedding. It arrived in a white box with a pink border, opened to the invite tied together with a big pink ribbon bow and included the RSVP card, picture of bride and groom, and other extra items. It weighed a veritable ton. A few weeks before the wedding, another friend of mine called. She is much closer to the bride than I am, so I mentioned seeing her at the wedding. She laughed and said the invites were the oddest thing she had ever seen. I thought she meant all the pomp and prissiness of them. I found out she received a different invite than I did. Her's was a standard Shutterfly type of invite in a plain envelope. Yep, she received a gift request, not an invite. I never did find out why I received an invite and the closer acquaintance to the bride did not. I did not attend the wedding or send a gift. Neither did my friend."
9."The bride included a list of acceptable guest attire. She wanted all women to wear sleeveless maxi dresses. I explained to her that I don’t do sleeveless as I broke my elbow as a child and I am overly sensitive to its mild deformity. I also explained at just a hair under 5′0, a maxi dress looks horrible on me. I was told, 'I don’t care, this is a beach wedding, you will be in the sun and it will be hot.' I further explained due to previous sun poisoning, I can’t wear sleeveless as I need to keep my shoulders out of direct sunlight. She was so insulted, I was uninvited to the wedding."
10."My father remarried. I didn't have a lot of time getting to know my step-family as I was doing grad school in a different state. However, I DID do my best to get to know them, and be as supportive, loving, and compassionate as I could be. Some years after he remarried, one of the girls my stepmom raised got married. I received my invitation to attend the wedding reception which was held a few weeks after the actual ceremony. My father, very ashamed, had already told me only 'immediate' family could attend the 4-5 day wedding celebration at a swanky bed and breakfast."
"Mind you, neither groom nor bride had had a job for years. And by swank, I mean swank by Wine Country, CA standards. Yes, my father paid for the whole thing. He hated doing it! Yes, I was not invited for the 4+ days of wedding celebration. Not even invited to just attend the ceremony because it was for 'immediate' family. Oh, and the friends who were ‘like' family who did the whole 4+ days. Needless to say, I did not attend the reception. Nor did I buy anything off their registry."
11."I received an invitation in which the bride and groom asked for money only. They wanted to take a three-month tour overseas and wanted the guests to pay for it. It was suggested that you give $100 per person if a friend, $250 per person if a bridal party member, and $500 if you were family. I was told they expected it whether you attended or not. I just thought it was rudely presented as a demand, not a request. They expected us to give them $500 because our three children were invited."
12."We were invited to attend, and made plans to be at the wedding, which was across the country. We’d talked to the groom several times, and told him we were making a family trip of it. It was planned out to attend 3–4 months in advance. Less than a month prior, the groom told us we couldn’t bring our kid, and that the recommended hotel for attending didn’t have any services to watch our child. We’d booked tickets, bought clothes, and made arrangements to be there. They recommended that maybe we could leave the child, unattended (who was two at the time), in the room for the ceremony, and then I should stay with the child while my husband attended the reception. We didn’t go to the wedding, or take that trip. If the invitation had noted that no children were to attend, it would have been acceptable, but that was not the case."
13."An invitation from a former friend’s granddaughter stated at the bottom, “No gifts valued at less than $100 will be accepted. See registry at _____. Cash preferred. How would they know whether it was $98 or $102? Does that $100 include tax and shipping if ordered online? At the time, I was not working and had a small fixed income. $100 might as well have been $1,000. I declined the invitation and simply sent the new couple a card wishing them well. I guess that might be why grandma and I are now former friends."
14."My first cousin's daughter was getting married. It was explained that as the church was small, they had to limit the congregation, but I was welcome to wait outside. I was 60 years old. I declined the invitation. There is a tendency nowadays to fill a wedding church with friends and acquaintances rather than family . I was hurt to be treated like this by my cousin whom I grew up with. Our mothers were sisters."
15."Wedding invitation requested for all women to dress in simple black dresses, so that the bride, maids of honor, mothers of the bride, groom, and godmother will stand out from the majority of women at the wedding. It sounded like a bunch of women that nobody cared about were invited only to look as ugly as possible and make 'the important women' look good. I went and got criticized for my black dress being too short and having ribbons, so basically for my dress not being ugly enough."
16.Finally, "I was invited to a baby shower. The invitation said, 'No cards, bring a children’s picture book and write a message for the new baby and mother on the inside cover.’ Okay, that’s a little bossy, but I can deal with it. It also said, 'Only use clear wrapping paper for your baby shower gift' and gave a list of places where you could get this clear paper. That seemed odd, but I thought 'Okay,' and I just did it...So I sat down with my gift (as I was directed by the lady giving the shower) and then I was handed a thank you card, envelope, and a pen. I couldn’t imagine why. We were all then instructed to put our name and address on the envelope so the mommy-to-be wouldn’t be burdened by having to address them herself. Okay. Then we were told to open the preprinted thank you card, which had a line for us to fill-in what we had bought as a gift!"
"So it said, 'Thank you for very much for your gift of ________________. Our new little one greatly appreciates you.' Yes, we were being asked to fill out our own thank you cards for gifts the mommy-to-be was not even going to bother to unwrap or look at during the shower. I also later found out from one of the other 'participants' that by wrapping them in clear paper, it made it much easier to return unwanted, un-needed, or duplicate gifts directly to the store, because it showed the gift had not been opened. And the last straw? The mommy-to-be never even bothered to mail those thank you cards she had us address and fill-out." —Jan Thomas
