We all have voices. We want to express ourselves and feel heard. When those voices are kind they make us feel good. We’re trying our best, we’re doing good things for others and we want to help people.
Then there is the depression voice.
The depression voice isn’t kind. It tells you things like, “You’re worthless,” and, “Nobody cares about you.” The depression voice is unrelenting, unforgiving and cruel. I have heard the depression voice for years starting when I was 15.
The depression voice stayed around and carried on into my adult life. I am almost 40 years old and I’ve been dealing with the depression voice for over half of my life. Sometimes I can tweet it out and other times it’s so loud I can’t drown it out. This week it was incredibly painful and wouldn’t stop talking to me. I held my head in my hands and cried. I reached out to the mental health community and asked if they heard a depression voice in their heads.
Naturally, I went on Twitter, which is my internet home, and asked people in the mental health community to share what their depression voice says to them. I used the hashtag #DepressionVoice. I was surprised to hear some of the responses and they felt too close to home.
my depression used to tell me that I'm nothing, not worthy, that nobody will ever love me.
— Eva Caletkova (@EvaCaletkova) August 14, 2019
My depression voice tells me:
I’m worthless and always have been.
I’m unloved and unlovable.
I will always fail.
I will never make a difference.
I should stop caring, because I’m dead weight.
When I die it will be no great loss.#DepressionVoice https://t.co/T4FbUslh9L
— ???? (@Lankee) August 14, 2019
I’m impossible to love and don’t deserve to take care of myself, people hate me and asking for help is pathetic
— Sue (@lnhrtdgrl) August 15, 2019
I’m a waste of space, better of being dead.
Why are you here?
What you’re doing?
Pointless in repeating myself
— Paula crossplayer (@tokarski_paul) August 14, 2019
— Gorgeous Ladies of the Revolution ????????????️???? (@A_Story_of_A) August 13, 2019
“The people on my life are only around because they feel sorry for me.” Or on worse days: “The people in my life are only around as part of some elaborate joke meant to completely break me”
— Cailin (She/Her) ????????️???????? (@philosiPUNK) August 14, 2019
He tells me that I am no good. He says I should have been successful all the times I tried to kill myself. He says I’m a bad mother. He says I am stupid, much stupider than my sister, who is brilliant and any attempt at intellectual exploration is folly. That my writing sucks.
— Judy Ryan Hall (she/her) (@Judashalah) August 14, 2019
“Hey, so ya know how they say you are not the exception when it comes to healing from mental illness? And how everyone can heal? Yes well, not you. You are the exception. You’re never getting better. And you know how this ends. Sooner or later, you know how this ends.”
— Bleeding Ink ???????? ???????? ♿ ♉ ???? (@MyBleedingInk) August 14, 2019
“You’re not worthy of love or even employment. You better work your ass off at work because they’re going to find out you’re a bum.” So a 12 hour work day is the norm.
— Dannie (@dgodin1234) August 15, 2019
my depression voice tells me that I am not good enough or worthy of love — but so many times I have found out this is not true.
— Randy Armstrong (@randallrex) August 15, 2019
You shouldn’t have eaten that
No one is interested in your opinion
You aren’t expressing yourself enough
You shouldn’t have said/shared that
You aren’t writing as much as you should be
— Jennifer Vogenthaler (@jenvogie) August 15, 2019
“Worthless. Not doing enough. Work harder. Work faster. Loser.” – counseling has helped me work through those thoughts.
— Natalie Rodriguez (@NatChrisRod) August 15, 2019
What does your “depression voice” sound like? What can you say back? Let us know in the comments below, and read this piece for inspiration: 14 Lies Your Mental Illness Is Telling You — and What You Can Say Back.